Sleep Away: The Threequel
by GLITTERXGURL
Summary: During her third summer at camp and her first summer as a CIT, things don't go perfectly according to Massie Block's plans. Instead of having a great summer, she's forced to choose between her moody best friend Cam and her jealous boyfriend Derrick.
1. Chapter 1

Final installment of Sleep Away has officially started!  
(:

I thought I'd hurry and get this up for all of my amazing lovely reviewers:)

* * *

Please pick up. Please pick up. PLEASE. PICK. UP-

"Hey this is Cam, sorry I missed your call, leave me a message and I'll get back to you. 'Kay thanks...uh, bye!"

I sigh. "Hey Cam, it's me. I know I've left like six messages for you this week but you don't ever pick up...or return them. And you don't reply to my emails, my tweets, my pokes, my inboxes, my AIM. Nothing. If you didn't update your Facebook status regularily, I'd think you were dead. I just wanted to know if you were coming-"

_BEEP._

Oh. Cut off. Again.

"Massie, honey, are you ready?" My mom pokes her head in my room. "Derrick loaded all your bags, he's waiting in his car."

"Ready," I force a grin. I do a quick check in the mirror (even I have to admit I look pretty fabulous) and run down the stairs to kiss Mom and Dad goodbye.

"Will you write?" Dad asks as I peck him on the cheek.

"I'd say yes, but we both know I'd be lying," I kiss my mom. "Besides, you can't read my printing."

"Have fun," Mom says, smoothing down a random fly away hair. "It's your first year as a counsellor. Try and take the job seriously, okay?"

"Okay," I roll my eyes. "Derrick'swaitinggottagobyeIloveyou!" I shout quickly, flying out the door. "Derrick!" I tackle my boyfriend in a giant hug, even though I saw him three days ago.

"I missed you," he squeezes me.

"I missed you too," I say, getting into his huge black Hummer. Ugliest vehicle on earth, swear to God. I cringe every time I get in it.

"Ready for a good summer?" he backs out of my driveway.

"Ready for an excellent summer," I giggle, opening up my text inbox.

**massie: **hey ladies! me and D are on our way!:)

**claire: **i'm on the plane :/ i wish it would fucking land!

**dylan: **oh c, shut up. we all know you're not in that much pain -you have hot hotz with you ;)

**claire: **hey shhh! he's my hot hotz. and he's currently snoring!

**olivia: **todd's coming right, c?

**claire: **unfortunately yes. why?

**massie: **hey guys, do any of you know if cam's coming back? i mean we talked a little during winter break and then he never showed up at spring break and i haven't heard from him at all

**dylan: **someone told me he wasn't..

**massie: **who?

**dylan: **uh cam. But he said that back in april so who knows?

Sigh. See, last year around the end of summer when I got back together with Derrick, things got awkward between Cam and me, so much to the point that he ignored me. He left before I could say bye, and hasn't replied to anything I send him. Over winter break, spent at Claire Lyons' estate in LA, he left early and didn't really talk to me. Then he didn't even show up during spring break.

And I have no idea what happened that made things bad between us.

Just as I'm about to power off my phone, it rings again. SKYE H. flashes on my screen to I touch answer.

"Hey!" Skye Hamilton chirps in my ear.

"Hey," I mumble, definitely less enthusiastic than her.

"What's wrong?" Skye asks worriedly.

"Just...you know," I sigh, not wanting to bring it up around Derrick. And Skye -who got to come with us during Spring Break, luckily- knows all about the Cam thing, even though she hadn't been present at camp this year.

She won't be there this year either, but she'll be two towns over, working at this really cool jewellery store. And as a bonus, Skye even gets to help design some of the jewellery. If I wasn't being a CIT, I'd definitely be joining her.

The reason Skye gets to leave Westchester for a whole two months is because there's a cancer clinic in that town, and if anything goes seriously wrong, she can just zip over to that. But nothing will go wrong, she's been cancer free for...what, two months now? After we got back from spring break in April, she caught some infection and had to be hospitalized again, but hadn't been back except for check ups and blood tests every two weeks.

"I see," she says and I can picture her nodding, blue eyes wide.

"Is that Skye?" Derrick whispers from beside me.

"HI DERRICK!" she yells, causing me to wince away from the phone.

"HEY SKYE!" Derrick yells back, causing me to wince again. Do they not realize how much my head is pounding?

"Anyway, I just wanted to call to tell you I hope you have a great summer! Have fun and don't let the little brats get too out of control."

"Please, S, they have me to look up to!"

"Then you'd better get someone else to help you! If they're looking up to you, they'll definitely be out of control! You almost got us kicked out your first night, re_mem_ber?"

We laugh and I can slowly feel my headache melting away. "It's going to be a great summer. I wish you were coming though."

"Hey, write me!" Skye says firmly. She doesn't believe in feeling bad over not going to camp. "You have the address of my aunt's right?"

"I do," I confirm. "You'll be getting progress reports weekly."

"I better! And you'll be getting four bracelets to give to the girls once I find cute enough ones! It's been almost three years, it's time to give up our current friendship bracelets, don't you think?"

I finger the braided pieces of purple and gold string encircled around my wrist. The gold's lost its shimmer and shine, the purple's no longer dark and majestic and the whole thing just looks ratty, dull and tired. "I guess," I murmur.

"Don't worry, I'll find something fabulous! But I gotta go, mom's ready to drive me. Love you! Tell the girls I love them too! Bye!"

"Bye Skye!" I giggle at the accidental rhyme. "Have a great summer!"

"She sounds good," Derrick says as I turn my phone off.

"She is good," I say firmly, wrapping my hand over his on the gear shift. "Just like this summer's going to be."

* * *

"MASSIE!"

"CLAIRE!"

"MASSIE!"

"CLAIRE!"

"SHUT UP."

Our shrieking match is interrupted by a very handsome Josh Hotz, who throws a tennis ball lightly at me and pegs me in the shoulder.

I rush into the thin, tanned arms of my best friend Claire Lyons. Inhaling her signature scent of coconut tanning oil, Bumble and Bumble Curl Defining spray and DKNY Be Delicious perfume, I squeeze her tightly.

Derrick and Josh do that weird guy thing where they bump fists and nod at each other, but I can tell they're glad to see each other. Claire and I live on different coasts, me in New York and Claire in Cali, but Derrick and Josh live in whole different countries!

"You look amazing!" Claire gushes, giving me the once over. I spy her pink and gold lanyard looking even rattier than mine.

"You look better," I say, hugging her again. "Is anyone else here?"

"No one that matters," she rolls her eyes. "Just Todd and Danny and some losers."

I grin but then pull Claire closer. "Is there something going on with Todd and Olivia?" I murmur in a low voice.

"I wouldn't know," she mutters, clearly not loving the possible idea of her best friend and brother dating. "Olivia always refuses and Todd and I just don't talk."

"Block," Josh appears beside us, grinning his megawatt smile. Oh god, what a hottie.

"Hotz," I grin back, hugging him too. Last year at this time, I never would've thought I'd be hugging Josh Hotz, let alone happy to see him. But last summer I finally saw who he actually was and why Claire was so in love with him.

"The year's been good to you," he compliments, but I don't feel creeped out like I did all his previous compliments.

"You're one to talk," I slap him on the stomach as Claire wraps his arm around her shoulders.

"So guess who got lucky to lead together," Derrick comes back from reading the list of where we all are staying and counselling. "Claire Lyons and Massie Block, counsellors of cabin fifteen."

"Yes!" Claire cheers, grinning. I have to clench me teeth together to keep from grinning too hard. The only way this summer would be better was if Cam would be here-

"And I'm counselling cabin twenty-one with Fisher," he mutters, clearly pissed. Poor Derrick, I know he _hates _Cam.

Wait. Cam.

"Cam's coming to camp?" I ask, feeling my spirits lift. "Really?"

"Really," a new, familiar voice that sends happiness throughout my stomach says. The four of us turn to the door to see Cam Fisher standing there, bags in hand. "Hey."


	2. Chapter 2

I'm so glad I posted this when I did! You guys seemed so stoked that I started it so quickly, which made me pretty stoked to:)

* * *

Claire, Dylan and Olivia and I made our way to cabins 14 and 15, bags dragging behind us. Olivia and Dylan are the CITs of cabin 14, which is luckily just half a block away from cabin 15.

"Was that _Cam _I saw talking to Todd?" Olivia asks, depositing her bags outside of cabin 15 and walking into her old cabin. "I thought he wasn't coming?"

"He wasn't," Dylan says, following her. Claire and I scurry up the two porch steps to go with them. "I guess something changed his mind."

I can't help but notice how her emerald eyes glance at me then quickly away. I almost hear her go 'or some_one_', but thankfully she keeps her mouth shut.

"It's gonna be weird not being in here all the time," Olivia says, trailing her metallic blue nailed fingers across our names, which we'd written on the wall in Sharpie two years ago. "We're so lucky we're not counselling with anyone but each other."

"I have a feeling luck had nothing to do with it," Claire rolls her eyes and grins at Dylan. "But I know, I'd die if I was counselling with Layne or something."

"We should get our stuff to our cabin," Dylan tells Olivia. "See you guys later for dinner?"

"Of course," Claire says, shutting the cabin door behind them. She sighs as she turns back to me, navy eyes curious. "Okay. I totally saw your face when Cam showed up. That's not a smile you give a _friend._"

I look down and sit on one of the bunk bed's bare matresses, barely even realizing how dirty it is. "I..." I heave a sigh as Claire sits down beside me, crossing her long tanned legs Indian style. "Last year, there were times before Derrick and I got back together when I thought that maybe Cam and I would end up dating. I mean, you and him turned out being my best friends last year and me and Cam were just so...comfortable together! Things were so easy!

"And then Derrick and I got back together and things got so weird between me and Cam and even though I disagreed with you guys, I think deep down I knew that he had like me and I had liked him. But I was in love with Derrick, I had to say yes.

"Then he ignored my tweets and texts and calls and every form of communication possible. It drove Derrick absolutely crazy that I was spending so much time trying to talk to Cam. I guess it was pretty harsh that I'd even text Cam while hanging out with Derrick."

"So that's why Derrick's so pissed over counselling with Cam," Claire nods.

"Yeah," I frown, wondering if the two have killed each other yet. Derrick's so bold and arrogant, where Cam's so sweet and quiet. "And then at your place over WB, I was so stoked to see Cam. Like I was happy to see everyone else, but everyone else actually had talked to me. And when I saw Cam, it was like all those sort of feelings came back. And we barely spent any time together but it was like I _had _to be near him!

"Then he left early that morning without saying bye, so I called him and he didn't pick up and I figured he was probably feeling the same way I was feeling.

"And not going to lie, but when he didn't show up at spring break I was kind of...crushed. I had been thinking about it since Christmas and I was going to just flat out ask if Cam had feelings for me. And if he had said yes, I would've admitted I liked him too. But he didn't show up. So I stayed with Derrick."

"Are you happy with Derrick?"

"I'm happy but...is it possible to fall out of love with someone?"

"I don't know," Claire sighs. "But Massie, you've got to do what your heart's telling you to do. And if it's telling you that you don't feel the same way about Derrick that you did last summer then you know what you have to do."

I bite my lip. "I don't want to break up with Derrick though. I still love him."

"There's a difference between loving someone and being in love with someone."

"I know. I just need to think," I sigh. "Let's go get our beds made up so we can start working on those name tags!"

"All right," Claire stands up and cracks her back. "But we're not done talking about this."

"Fine. But don't bring this up in front of Dylan or Olivia, please, you know how much they think Derrick and me are perfect for each other."

"What happened to no more secrets?" Claire pulls pink sheets out of her pink suitcase. "Secrets ruined things last year, they're not ruining things this year!" she tugs on her ratty bracelet, as if proving secrets are bad.

"It's not a secret!" I fluff up one of my pillows a little too much. It's all lumpy now. "It's just..."

"It's just between us," Claire sighs.

I sigh too, re-fluffing my pillow. Two years ago, when I first came to camp, I thought I would've matured by the time I was seventeen. Known more about guys, made right decisions. But boy, was fifteen year old Massie wrong.

* * *

"Chris decided he didn't want to teach canoeing this year," Landon says, sipping out of a mug of lemonade. "So we'll need two people who have canoed before to teach the Bears. Anyone?" The Bears are anyone between the ages of thirteen and sixteen.

It's later that night and we're all seated in the huge living room of the Big House, drinking lemonade and going over everything.

Cam raises his hand so I shoot mine up in the air too. "Great, thanks guys," Landon writes our names down on his clipboard.

I try to catch Cam's eye to smile at him, but he's staring out the window. Instead, Derrick looks at me and says "Since when do you like canoeing?"

"I've always liked canoeing," I tell him. Okay not really. But it's decent! He seems so shocked that I'd volunteer to teach it.

"I didn't know that."

"Then you clearly don't know me." I have no idea where that came from! It just popped out of my mouth without warning! Everyone's staring at me, looking either puzzled or shocked. Oops.

"Anyway," Landon clears his throat. "I think we've covered everything. Your campers will be arriving anytime from nine until noon tomorrow, so be ready! I'll see you guys later."

All of us -except Dylan, who offers to help Landon clean up- leave the Big House and mull around outside. The camp seems so much bigger when there's only ten of us here. The sun is setting and I want nothing more than to go watch it at the beach. The only problem is I don't know which boy I'd rather go watch it with.

* * *

"Do kids like...bite at this age?" Claire asks me as I'm brushing my teeth before bed.

I laugh, spitting spots of toothpaste all over the mirror in front of me. "Claire, they're fourteen and fifteen year olds. You didn't bite at that age!"

She sniffs. "Yeah, but I'm civilized. Who knows if these girls are?"

I rinse my mouth and put my toothbrush away. "They don't bite. Besides, we both know Claire Lyons will bite back if anyone threatens her."

Claire laughs and follows us into our counsellor room. It feels kind of weird sleeping in a room with two single beds instead of a room full of bunk beds, but it's my new bed I guess.

"Night, Mass," Claire yawns, jumping onto her bed.

I snuggle down in between my purple and white sheets. As soon as my body hits the hard mattress and I hear it squeak beneath my weight, my stress and worry wash away. I'm home.


	3. Chapter 3

I'm running out of Clique characters to use as campers soo some of them are really random ones who've been mentioned, like once!:)

* * *

"Massie! MASSIE! Jeez, get up!" I'm vaguely aware of Claire shaking me and ripping the blankets off me.

"Claire, GO AWAY," I mutter, putting as much venom into my words as I can at this early in the morning. "Why're you up so early?"

"It's ten o'clock, dumb ass. We were supposed to be up two hours ago! What kind of counsellors don't set an alarm?"

I spring out of bed, rubbing my tired eyes. "Um, the kind who have absolutely no idea what they're doing?"

"Get dressed," Claire commands. "Luckily no one's shown up at the cabin yet. Olivia came in, which is what woke me up. Remind me to set an alarm for seven-thirty am, okay? Otherwise we'll end up sleeping till ten again."

As I brush my teeth, still clad in my pajamas, and Claire hurriedly does her makeup, we hear the door creak open. I quickly spit and rinse my mouth, afraid we won't be ready to meet our first camper. But instead of some girl, I find Derrick.

"Oh! Hey!" I grin, but even I admit it's a little forced. A _little._

"Hey! You do not look ready," he looks me up and down, chuckling at my _Cookie Monster _pajamas. "You know you were supposed to be up about two hours ago, right?"

"So I've heard," I mutter. "Meet any campers yet?"

"Nah, Fisher had this idea that they should all meet in the DH so no one gets lost on their way to the cabin. I've been in the cabin while he meets all the little kids."

"That's actually a good idea," I say, wishing me and Claire had thought of it. Now we're going to have a bunch of girls, completely lost and getting eaten by like raccoons or something. Great way to start off the summer.

"Whatever," Derrick rolls his eyes. "I just wanted to make sure I'd be seeing you at lunch," he leans down to kiss me but I pull away.

"I...haven't brushed my teeth yet," I lie.

"Oh," Derrick looks down, confused, at the dripping toothbrush I hold in my hand. "Well...see you later then. Bye Claire!" He calls out louder so she can hear in the bathroom.

"Bye!" she yells in reply.

After Derrick leaves, I get dressed in seconds, adjusting my lanyard and throwing my hair up in a ponytail. Claire emerges from the bathroom, looking stunning, even just in her blue stretchy shorts and white baby tee. "I'm scared," she admits, fingering her pink bracelet, something she does when she's nervous.

"Don't be, they'll love us," I assure her, turning on her iPod Touch, sending Akon throughout the cabin.

"Not about that," she rolls her eyes and flips her blonde curls. "Obviously they'll love us. Everyone does. I'm scared this summer's going to be bad though. What if this Cam-you-Derrick triangle messes everything up and it's worse than last summer?"

"It won't be," I tell her. "Seriously. This summer's going to be perfect."

Now if only I could believe it myself.

* * *

There's a knock on the door before a thin girl with light brown hair and hazel eyes pokes her head in. "Is this cabin fifteen?" she asks timidly.

"Yup," I stand up, wiping off my bare knees from sitting on the fall. "I'm Massie and this is Claire. We're your counsellors. You are?" I grin at the cute girl.

"Ripple," she looks around the cabin, then back at me and Claire, eyes wide.

"Cool name," Claire also stands up. "Choose a bed. You're the first one here."

"My dad's really into surfing," she rolls her eyes and sits on the lower bunk of a bunk bed. "He named my brother _Dune._"

Claire and I giggle as another girl walks in the door. She has tanned skin, dark eyes and dark hair pulled up in a bun. "Hi," Claire grins, totally over her fear of kids.

"This is cabin fifteen, right?" The girl asks. "It's my first year here."

"Same!" Ripple chimes in.

"This is cabin fifteen," I confirm, spying Derrick out one of the windows. He's waving and motioning me outside. "I'm Massie," I ignore him and focus my attention on the girl. "That's Claire."

"Nina," the girl says, sitting on the other lower bunk. "Um the cabins aren't coed, right? There's a boy out there."

"That's Massie's boyfriend," Claire shoots me a pointed look. "Maybe she shouldn't be ignoring him."

"Right," I force a grin. "Be right back."

I shut the door behind me and meet Derrick on the porch. "What?"

"Not happy to see me?" he crinkles his eyebrows.

"Derrick, I'm trying to do my job. I have to meet all the girls and like bond or something. Maybe you should be doing your job too."

"I'm not going near Cam," he rolls his chocolate brown eyes. I love those eyes -why was I suddenly so...annoyed by them?

"Well you can't be here," I insist. "I'm busy. I'll see you later."

"What's with you? You've been acting...weird since we got here yesterday," his questioning eyes search my face.

What am I supposed to say? I don't even know what's wrong with me. I sigh. "Nothing's 'with me'. I'm just stressed. I really want to do well here, okay? You're making it difficult."

"Okay," Derrick says slowly. "Well...I'll...see you around then." He turns and walks away slowly, as if he's hoping I'll call him back.

But I don't.

"And Landon and Dylan are totally in love," I hear Claire gush to Nina, Ripple and another girl who's joined them as I walk into the cabin. "Everything all right?" Claire breaks her story. The girls take a break from making their beds to stare at me.

"Perfect," I smile in a way that tells Claire we'll talk about it later.

She blinks in understanding and says "I was just telling the girls about everyone."

"You're so lucky to be dating that guy," the other girl -Lilah, I believe- gushes, looking out the window where Derrick and I had been standing. "Claire told us that you've been in love since you were my age. _So _cute. I hope I'm as lucky as you this summer!"

"You really are lucky, Mass," Claire stares at me, making me shiver.

"Yup, that's me," I sink onto Nina's newly made bed. "Lucky."

* * *

By the end of the night, I've figured out everyone's names and ages. There's Nina, who's fifteen. Ripple, who's fourteen and a quarter. And Lilah and Jasmine, who are also fifteen.

The whole camp is crowded around the biggest bonfire I've ever seen for our traditional Welcome To Camp S'mores Fest. I think I sat beside Derrick my first summer here, and he completely ignored me.

I'm sandwiched between Derrick and Lilah, with Claire sitting above me, knees pressed into the back of my head. Everyone's singing and laughing and seeing who can shove the most marshmallows in their mouths at once and having a blast.

Except me.

I tried to smile at Cam when we first got here, but he avoided my grin and sat across the fire with Landon, leaving a grumbling Derrick to watch all of their kids.

"It's burnt again," Lilah whines, holding up her charred and bubbly marshmallow.

"I'll fix it," Derrick chuckles, plucking a new marshmallow from the bag on my lap and sticking it in the coals of the fire. "I'm a pro, I've been here since I was like six. Mass, didn't I make you one after you burnt yours?"

"Uh-huh," I murmur, the smoke from the fire and the screams of campers trying to out sing each other giving me a headache.

"Trust me, I'm great," he leans past me to grin at Lilah.

She giggles and lowers her light blue eyes, trying not to flirt too hard with my boyfriend. Last year, I would've probably taken off her head for talking to Derrick (a little bit psycho, even I'll admit that...) but right now, I hardly care.

Does that mean I really don't like Derrick the way I did last year?

"Massie!" Claire taps me on the top of the head. She cranes her neck down so her head is beside mine and I can smell her DKNY perfume. "I think Cam's talking to you," she whispers.

I look up, my eyes meeting Cam's blue and green ones. They sparkle adorably in the glow of the fire. "Can I talk to you?" he mouths.

I nod. "Now?" I mouth back.

"After," he mouths.

I shake my head. "Now." There is nothing I want more than to go back to being best friends with Cam. The sooner the better.

He nods, getting up and making his way past campers. I stand up too. "What's wrong?" Derrick asks. "Where are you going?"

"Derrick!" Claire shoves the heel of her hand into the back of his shoulder, causing it to jerk forward and for Derrick to drop Lilah's marshmallow into the flames. "Your marshmallow is on fire!"

"Gee, Claire, I wonder how that happened!" he turns his attention to her so I fly down the rows of campers, trying not to jostle anyone too much. Before sneaking out of the glow of the fire I turn to grin at Claire. She winks in response, having distracted Derrick by sliding into my seat and arguing about what really goes into marshmallows.

"Cam?" I whisper in to the darkness. Even though this is my third summer here, I'm still terrified of the dark up here. In my cabin, it's okay, because I can always hear Claire talking in her sleep or Olivia's gentle snores, but outside is a whole different story. I mean, I'm in the Adirondacks -there's like deer and raccoons up here! What if there's a rogue buffalo or something?

A flashlight beam shines in my direction, causing me to wince. "Hey," Cam shines the light towards him. It may just be my sight in the dark, but Cam looks incredibly handsome in his black not-too-skinny jeans (they're just skinny enough -not emo, but totally delish) and a blue cashmere v-neck sweater that brings out his one blue eye.

"Hey," I answer back, digging my nails into my palms. Please don't let this be awkward!

"Wanna go for a walk?" he shines the flashlight towards the trails that lead to the forest. "I think we need to talk."


	4. Chapter 4

Cassie or Massington...

Decisions, decisions :)

* * *

"Oh so _now _you want to talk?" I blurt, feeling all my anger and frustration I'd buried bubble up to the surface again. "But you didn't the _millions _of times I called or texted you? Or inboxed you or wrote on your wall? You just ignored all of those, but now that _you're _ready, you expect me to talk to you?"

Cam chuckles softly. "We both know you're going to come for a walk with me and talk to me, Mass."

My anger melts away. It's been almost a year since I've heard him say my name, and the sound of it still feels me with warmth and happiness. I fall in step beside him, walking along my favourite trail into the woods. It was where Derrick and I first really hung out. Two summers ago, we walked through the trails before bed and held hands. Walking with Cam in it makes me feel like I'm cheating on Derrick.

"So."

"So."

The silence is deafening. I wish our awkward silence would be broken by one of Cam's infamous Chuck Norris facts, but as the silence stretches on, I don't think ones coming.

"Chuck Norris has already been to Mars, that's why there's no signs of life there," I say quickly, my words blurring together.

To my surprise, Cam laughs, which makes me smile. The tension between us is slooowly melting away as we walk deeper into the woods. "Is that honestly what I sound like when I do that?" he chuckles.

"No, you sound normal...ish. I just wanted to get it over and done with. Only losers tell Chuck Norris facts," I elbow him in the ribs.

"Ohhh, really now?" he scoffs. "I'm sure you know from experience, hey?"

"Hey Cam?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

"Ooh. Good comeback."

I giggle, glad that things seem _normal _between us. I hope they stay that way. "We should probably head back to camp, it's eleven," I glance down at his watch.

"Wait, Cam!" I grab his arm as he walks past my cabin. All the lights are on but the curtains are drawn, meaning Claire and the girls probably just got back. "We're like friends, right? You won't go back to ignoring?"

"I like you too much to ignore you, Massie," Cam chuckles. "We're friends."

"Promise," I stick out my pinky finger.

Cam laughs and wraps his around mine. "You're such a little kid. Pinky promises? You act like you're six."

"I act like I'm _seven,_ thank you very much," I retort, bouncing up my porch steps. "See you tomorrow?"

"Canoeing," Cam says, disappearing into the darkness. "Wouldn't miss it."

* * *

"I barely talked to you last night after I saved your ass at bonfire," Claire whispers, setting her bowl of Cap'n Crunch and glass of orange juice on the table.

"Sorry," I whisper back, not entirely sure why we're whispering.

The girls all subtly listen in, hoping to hear the gossip I'm about to share with Claire. Not that I care -I want these guys to think of me as their friend, instead their worst enemy like Alicia and us two years ago.

"What happened? You were gone almost an hour. Way to be a good example and get in by lights out!"

"Please," I take a sip of my orange juice, wincing at the pulp. Gross. "We both know I'm the better influence between the two of us."

"You almost got us kicked out of camp your first night here."

"You did? What'd you do?" Nina turns to me, eyes wide.

Lilah smacks a hand against her forehead, Nina having outed them for listening. I giggle and try to fork out the pulp in my OJ.

"Seriously though," Claire spoons my rejected pulp into her glass, something we'd been doing since my first summer. Claire loved pulp in her juice (extra calcium, according to her) and I detested it. "Are you and Cam good?"

"Cam?" Jasmine perks up. "That cute counselor with the two different eyes?"

"I thought you were dating Derrick," Ripple crinkles her eyebrows.

"I did too," Dylan's silky voice interrupts. She drags a chair over to our table and sits down. "Something I'm missing?"

"Nothing," I sip my now mostly pulp-free juice. "Just talking about the cutest boys at camp."

"Josh is clearly number one on the list," Claire picks up for me.

"He's _so _hot!" Nina glances over at Josh and Todd's table. "All the boys from his cabin are ah-mazing too!"

As the campers begin arguing over who's the cutest, Dylan gives me a level look. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Of course," I nod, hopefully innocently. "We're best friends."

"It's just weird that you chose to teach canoeing. You hate canoeing."

"That's not true," Claire interrupts. "Remember our first summer?"

"Right, Mass almost broke my nose," Dylan rolls her eyes.

"Hey," Claire glances, alarmed, at Dylan's table. "Who's watching your campers?"

"Olivia."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Claire bites her lip. Dylan laughs and returns to her own table, on the other side of the Dining Hall.

"Thanks, C."

"Massie, right now there's nothing to tell Dylan and Olivia. But what's going to happen by the middle of the summer? It's obvious you feel something for..._him,_" she lowers her voice. "What if something happens? What are you planning on telling Dyl or Olivia? They think you're madly in love with Derrick."

"I am," I murmur.

"You're only lying to yourself, you know," Claire leans back and crosses her arms.

Sigh. I know.


	5. Chapter 5

I love your reviews, they keep me so motivated :)

and does anyone know what colour Cam's hair is? I've always pictured it goldish, like Claire's but I don't know if that's right!

* * *

"Is it just me, or do I look more tanned?" Olivia admires her thin arms in the mirror of our bathroom. "It's been one day, but I'm thinking I definitely look more tanned."

"Olivia, you've been in the sun for an hour and a half during General Swim. You're definitely not more tanned," Claire snickers from her perch on Jasmine's bed.

We had decided to combine our cabins during freetime before dinner, and the girls seemed to be getting along great.

If only Olivia, Dylan, Claire and I were.

Well we weren't like _fighting _or anything. But there was an obvious tension in the air, and I couldn't help but think it was centered around my Cam-Derrick problem.

And just what _was _my problem? I was dating Derrick. I loved Derrick. No, no, I _love _Derrick -no past tense needed.

Right?

I love his shaggy hair and warm chocolate-coloured eyes, and his goofy grin and his adorable laugh. And I love how his arm feels over my shoulders or the fact that he watches Pretty Little Liars, just so he can talk to me about it Tuesday mornings.

And then there's Cam...

His dark gold hair matches his even Florida tan and makes his emerald and sapphire eyes pop. And those abs...plus his hilarious sense of humor and never-ending supply of Chuck Norris jokes are a definite plus. And talking to him just feels right.

So what does that mean?

"Massie!" Dylan says in a tone that indicates this isn't the first time she's said my name. "Hello?"

"Where _are _you today?" Olivia turns around from the mirror, shooting me a questioning look. "You've been out of it all day!"

"Just uh tired. You know how I don't sleep the first few days of the season."

I'm eternally grateful that Claire doesn't tell them about how I've been sleeping so soundly since we got here, that my snoring keeps her up.

"Oh," Olivia frowns, almost as if she doesn't believe me.

"Olivia, do you have a boyfriend?" Ripple pipes up from her bed.

"God no," Olivia's cute button nose wrinkles, my problem instantly forgotten.

"What about that cute counselor you're always with?" a girl from Dylan's cabin asked. "Umm...whatshisname..Todd! The one with the freckles!"

Claire's head snaps up and Olivia's snaps down so fast I'm surprised they don't get whiplash. "Todd, like, my brother Todd?"

"We're just friends," Olivia insists. "Who needs a boyfriend when you've got such great girlfriends?" she shoots Dylan, Claire and I an adorable grin.

I grin too, but not because I'm happy to have them. Because I'm glad the attention if far away from my issue.

* * *

If there's one thing you should know about Dylan Marvil, it's that she _hates _change in her social system. So, naturally, she went totally apeshit when I decided to go swimming with Cam during freetime instead of hang out in the counselor's room in the Big House with the rest of the gang.

Here's what happened:

We were all just sitting in the counselor's room in the Big House when Cam walked in. Instead of sitting in the tension-filled, bored, barely air-conditioned room with my too clingy boyfriend, I chose to take a swim with my best friend -yes, we're best friends again- in my lake which I haven't seemed to swim enough in this season.

"Before you go, can I talk to you?" Dylan asks, her creamy white teeth clenched. She motions to the kitchen, where Claire had just been, burning her popcorn.

I force a smile, hold up one finger to Cam and follow Dylan. She shuts the door behind us, which makes me scared. The girl's my best friend, but I always feel like we're in some mafia movie, like she'd kill me in a heartbeat if I was a threat to her mob group.

"What are you doing?"

"Talking to you," I blink. Did I put on waterproof mascara this morning? I hope so. I hadn't been planning on swimming, but how could I say no to Cam? I hope I don't get raccoon smudges-

"I mean with Cam. Massie. You can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

"Of course," I widen my eyes, hoping I have the wide-eyed innocence that comes so naturally to Olivia. And I can tell Dylan everything. There's nothing to tell about me and Cam.

But...if there were, would I tell her? I know Dylan would disapprove. I know she'd insist that I was making a mistake, that Derrick's who I should stay with and that Cam's not good for me. Anything to protect the social order.

"So what are you doing?"

"Nothing," I insist. "I'm just bored, I wanna go swimming! Want to come?" _Please say no. Please say no. PleasesayNO._

"No thanks," Dylan's freckled nose wrinkles."You know how I feel about lake water..."

I giggle. "See you tonight then?"

"See you tonight," she smiles, not without shooting me a wary look first.

Cam and I walk to the beach in silence, the hot midday sun already making my back burn. Finally, Cam clears his throat. "She doesn't like this, does she?"

"It's not that she doesn't like our friendship or anything, she just doesn't like it changing things. I mean, I thought I didn't like changes, then I met Dylan. She _hates _them."

"So then...I guess she'd hate it if I did this."

And before I can ask what he means, Cam leans over and kisses me.


	6. Chapter 6

So a lot of you said Cam's hair was black..oops. I like my Cam better, with golden hair:)

So he's going to have golden hair in my story. Okay? Okay:)

And I'm home sick like alll week:( damn colds. But you guys can expect quite a few updates, just keep those reviews coming!:)

* * *

Oh my god.

Cam Fisher is kissing me.

Fireworks? Oh yes.

Guilt? ...No. Why don't I feel guilty? I have a sweet and nice boyfriend less forty-nine meters away from me and I have another guy's tongue down my throat.

But..Cam's just not any guy. He's Cam.

I step back, breaking the kiss. I'm pretty sure the somewhat dazed expression that's currently on Cam's face matches mine.

"Um," I bite my lip, no words coming to my mind. Wow. That was...um, wow.

"Uh," Cam chuchles softly, running a hand through his hair. "So...we probably shouldn't tell Dylan about that...or anyone else for that matter..."

"Yeah," I breathe in the sweet warm air, praying something with more than one syllable pops out of my mouth.

"Maybe we could um, go for a swim later?" Cam breathes and stares into my eyes, sending the silent message he clearly wants what just happened to happen later.

"Yeah," I blurt, before my brain can tell my mouth to shut up. No! No, I have a boyfriend, I can't be going 'swimming' with another boy later!

"So...see you back here? At eight, during freetime? Alone?"

"Yeah," I say again, wishing I could turn off my mouth. And my brain. And my heart.

Once I return to my empty cabin -my cabin is at tennis right now, thank god-, I will myself to cry. I just cheated on my boyfriend. And made plans to cheat on him again later. Come on, Massie, don't be a heartless bitch.

Cry, goddammit!

But no tears come. There's no pain in my chest. No guilt. Just the fear of anyone finding out, a dull ache in my head and the question 'what the fuck are you getting yourself into?' running through my head.

"Hey, Mass!" Claire and our campers trudge through the door. Claire's tanned face is graced with a sunny smile and her navy eyes are crinkled happily. No trace of suspicion whatsoever.

Okay. Now there's some guilt.

"Claire?" I manage a choked whisper. "Can I talk to you?"

Her smile fades faster than I thought possible and she gives me a quick nod. "Um, how about you guys get washed up for dinner? We'll be right out," she says to the campers, who are all giving each other WTF glances, before dragging me into our room and shutting the door behind us.

"What did you do?"

"I-I...it wasn't me. Camkissedme,Ididn'tkisshim,Iswear!,Ididn'tseeitcomingandoh,Claire,whatamIgoingtodo?" I will myself not to press my face into my pillow and start crying.

"You kissed Cam?" Claire hisses, her eyes wide.

"NO! He kissed me! But I didn't exactly stop him..." my stomach flips around inside me and I want to puke.

"Oh, Massie," Claire groans, flopping dramatically beside me on my bed. "What are you going to do?"

"I was hoping you'd have an idea," I murmur.

"I don't," she sighs.

"I really fucked up," I stand up, knowing the girls will be ready for dinner. "C, please don't bring this up with Olivia and Dylan."

"Bring what up with us?" Olivia's cheery voice asks as she and Dylan open our door and sit down on Claire's bed across from us.

"Massie threw up in the lake," Claire says smoothly, her lightly freckled nose scrunching up. "In front of Cam. I think it was my burnt popcorn. Oh, SHIT! I wasn't supposed to tell you guys," she bites her lip and shoots me an apologetic glance. "It's fine though, it's not like they swim in the lake anyway."

"Eww," Olivia squeals. "Poor Cam! Are you feeling okay now?"

"Sorta," I touch my stomach with a shaky hand. I wish I could lie and easily as Claire.

"Well we should go, I'm staaaarving," Claire stands up and drags me to my feet. She squeezes my hand before rounding up our campers.

For dinner, I ignore the amazing smelling spaghetti and meatballs and instead take a bottle of apple juice. I don't think I could stomach any solid food. And then to make matters worse: to my left is a solid wood wall and big floor-to-ceiling windows. To my right? Derrick and Cam's table.

They're not talking, instead looking like the pessimists they are, sitting in total silence except for the chatter of their campers. Derrick catches my eye and grins and waves. I manage a weak smile and wave back. Cam notices me and shoots me his adorable crooked smile and a subtle wink. I look down but can't help a smile from forming on my lips.

Oh god. What the hell am I starting?

* * *

"Hey."

"Hey."

And then awkward silence. Cam and I sit on the sand, cold from the cool breeze. The beach is empty, the sun has set and we're alone. Perfect time to cheat on your boyfriend.

As if hearing my thoughts, Cam wraps an arm around my waist and plants a gentle kiss on my cheek. Inhaling the familiar scent of his earthy cologne, being this close to him and feeling his warm arm wrapped tightly around me makes my knees feel slightly weak.

It's so different from Derrick's spicy cologne or familiar touch. Good different? I have no idea.

"Cam," I murmur, stopping anything before it can start. "Stop. I'm dating Derrick."

His multi-coloured eyes stare into my own eyes so intensely I feel a shiver creep up my back. "I love Derrick," I say firmly...almost as if I was convincing myself.

"No you don't," Cam never loses my gaze. "If you did, you wouldn't have come back tonight."

I'm silent, letting this sink in. He's right. I stand on my tip toes to kiss him and his grip tightens around me. I love Cam. I fell out of love with Derrick. Tomorrow I'll break up with Derrick and then me and Cam can date. Dylan and Olivia will understand, they'll be okay with it.

And everything will be perfect.

* * *

I return to my cabin feeling loads lighter. Why didn't I realize the sparks between me and Derrick were gone earlier?

"Hey!" Speak of the devil. As soon as I open the door to the cabin, Derrick jumps off of Lilah's bed, a huge grin lighting up his adorable face. "I was waiting for you! Josh and Claire went for a walk," he chuckles, since everyone knows Claire and Josh never actually walk on their 'walks'.

"Oh," I mumble, pushing a piece of my hair behind my ear.

"You look pretty when you do that," Derrick mumbles, his face turning crimson and his eyes cast towards the floor.

"Awweeehhh!" my campers chorus together, causing Derrick to blush even more.

My heart melts. Why is he so adorable? Why does he have to have sparkly chocolate brown eyes and shaggy blonde hair that always smells like Tresemée shampoo and a goofy smile?

I wrap my arms around his torso, inhaling the scent of fabric softener. "We'll be back," I tell my campers as Derrick and I walk into my and Claire's room. I shut the door behind us and sink onto my bed.

"Alone," Derrick winks, his big goofy grin plastered to his face. "I like your thinking, Block."

I giggle as he lies beside me on my bed, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I press my face into his chest, feeling tears spring to my eyes.

"You okay?" Derrick asks gently, playing with my hair. I'd taught him how to braid a few months ago, and now he rarely stopped.

I nod, sniffling and feeling the warmth of Derrick's cheek on the top of my head. Who was I kidding? I still love Derrick. But I also love Cam. How can you love two people at once?

An hour later, I haven't moved from my spot in Derrick's arm. His breathing is soft and even, the way it always is when he's asleep. The girls have quieted down out in the main room, so I'm pretty sure they're sleeping too. Claire's yet to return.

I sigh and snuggle closer to Derrick. Sleep is clearly out of the question for me tonight.


	7. Chapter 7

Suuuper long chapter, just to show my love for you guys!

And I loove your reviews, how you all give me suggestions and constructive criticism! And of course, who Massie ends up with is entirely up to you! So start choosing!:)

* * *

"Aweeh," Claire murmurs. There's a flash and a click, and then Derrick and I both slowly wake up.

"Must you?" I ask, my eyes tired and raw from crying and lack of sleep.

"Yes!" Claire looks at the screen on her camera. "So cute," she says and then bites her lip. "Uh, you guys slept through breakfast. None of us had the heart to wake you."

"Fisher's going to kill me," Derrick mutters, getting out of bed. "He's been stuck with the brats."

I quickly get out of bed and grab new shorts and a shirt. I wave goodbye to Derrick and as soon as the door shuts behind him, Claire hugs me. "You okay? You look like death. Did you and Cam get in a fight? You and Derrick clearly didn't!" she smoothes back my hair, making me eternally grateful for having her in my life. No matter what happens, she'll be there for me.

"Ready for swimming? Let's just ignore like everything and just work on our tans. 'Kay?"

"'Kay," I exhale, grabbing my beach towel.

Once we're all sprawled out on the beach with the sun beating down on our backs, I start to feel a little better. Maybe its the vitamin D. Or the fact that Derrick and Cam are no where to be seen.

"Wanna go get us all some water?" Claire nudges me with her toe. "Please?"

I nod, shaking sand off my butt and making my way towards the Dining Hall and kitchen. As long as I don't run into Olivia, Dylan, Cam, Derrick or anyone else for that matter, I'll be good. Thankfully, I make it to the kitchen without running into anyone. It's one of the only times I've been in the kitchen when it's empty.

Okay. Water, water...where do they put the water anyway? I open one cupboard and find bottles of vodka, rum and red wine. What is alcohol doing at a summer camp? Maybe for Dylan and Landon's rendevous? I shudder at the thought and reach for a bottle of Smirnoff. After finding the water bottles, I dump out my water and fill it with vodka. I figure it'll make me less stressed.

I down half my bottle before returning to the beach. My throat hurts -I didn't realize alcohol burned so much. The corners of my vision seem kinda blurry and the ground is shifting slightly, making it hard to walk. But I make it back to the beach, surprised to find Derrick and Cam and their cabin with Claire and my girls.

I roll the girls their water, making sure I keep mine in my hand at all times. I take quick sips from it, my mood having turned sour since Derrick and Cam got there.

Derrick smiles at me but my brain's too fuzzy for me to smile back. I hiccup. What are hiccups made of? I don't know.

"Mass, you okay?" Cam crinkles his eyebrows. "You look like you're going to be sick."

I think Derrick shoots him a look, but I can't be sure. "I'm fine," I giggle.

"What's so funny?" Claire looks confused.

"Me," I say, my giggles turning into full on laughs. "I'm freaking hilarious."

"Okay?" Claire exchanges a look with Derrick and Cam.

"She didn't get a lot of sleep last night," Derrick says loudly in Cam's direction. "You're probably over tired, Mass."

Cam sighs, irritated, which makes me laugh harder. Claire shoots me a funny look and I smile before taking another sip from my water bottle.

Suddenly Claire sits up and crawls towards me. "I need to talk to you," she says, leaning seriously close to me.

"We are talking," I giggle.

She grabs my bicep roughly and yanks me up and away from the campers. "Are you," she pauses and looks around before ripping off my sunglasses. "Massie. Are you _drunk_?"

"Define drunk," I lean towards her to we're nose to nose.

"You absolutely _reek _of alcohol," she wrinkles her nose. "Massie, what are you doing coming to the beach _drunk_? Do you _want _to get kicked out of camp?"

I don't answer, instead focusing on a bee that buzzes past. Why are bees so striped? I wanna be striped. I could be a zebra. Or a bee. Or a referee. Or-

"Massie!" Claire grabs my shoulders and shakes me, which makes my already roiling stomach flop around even more. "Stay here," she hisses. "Got it?"

I nod. I wipe my hair out of my eye with a shaky hand. Oh god, I feel like I'm going to puke. Claire and Cam return a few seconds later. "Derrick went swimming with one of the campers," Cam tells me. "I'm taking you back to your cabin, okay? You need to sleep."

"I'm wide awaaaake," I say. "I don't wanna go."

Claire and Cam exchange a look before Cam scoops me up princess-style and mumbles something to Claire. "Come on, bud," he says to me and starts walking towards the cabins.

"Where are we going?" I murmur, hearing the stairs to my porch creak under our weight.

"_You're _going to bed," Cam says. "I'm going to go back to the beach and play some volleyball with Josh."

"Stay with me?"

"I think you made your choice who you want to be with last night." I can't see him, but I can tell Cam's angry.

"I didn't sleep with him or anything," I mumble, feeling tired. "And I love you."

"You're drunk, Massie," Cam says firmly, tucking me into my bed. "You don't mean anything you're saying."

"Yes I do," I argue, snuggling deeper into my covers. "Please just stay with me."

I hear a sigh and then the sqeaking of Claire's bed as Cam sits on it. Even in my drunken haze, I manage to fall asleep with a smile.

* * *

"How ya feeling? Claire told me you were feeling faint," Olivia looks at me with worried blue eyes as we stand in line to get dinner that night.

"Oh," I swallow. _Thank you, Claire! _"Yeah. But I'm feeling better now. Just a little headache-y. Nothing some lemon water can't fix!"

"Probably heat stroke," Dylan joins the line behind me. "It's awful, hey?"

"Terrible," I murmur, feeling bad. Do I tell them I'd been drunk? No, then they'd just want to know _why _I'd been drinking. And I didn't want to get into that.

As if brought on by my thoughs, Cam and Derrick enter the Dining Hall with their campers, both looking very, very unhappy.

I look down at my fries and chicken strips, suddenly losing my appetite. What was I going to do? I can't just-

"Massie," Derrick appears in front of me. There's no friendliness in his tone, no warm twinkle in his gorgeous brown eyes. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Ripple and Lilah nudge each other behind Dylan, clearly not getting that Derrick obviously wants to _talk, _not just go make out under the bleachers on the soccer field.

I glance at Claire, Dylan and Olivia, who are all looking at us curiously. I notice Cam's eyes directed on his food, instead of on us. With a surprise, I notice that _everyone _is looking at us. Even the food server. Even Landon. Even the cook behind us in the kitchen.

"Um, sure," I say quietly. "In here or..wanna go for a walk?"

"I think it'd be better if we didn't talk where everyone could hear us." His low pitch matches mine. This isn't _my _Derrick, who's almost never serious.

I swallow, put down my tray, and then follow Derrick out of the DH, ignoring everyone's stares, to a bench outside where we sit.

"So," I say, forcing a smile. "Are we actually talking or did you just want to get me alone?"

Derrick says nothing, the corners of his mouth turned down and his eyes on the lake in front of exactly four minutes and thirty-two seconds of silence -I'd been eyeing his watch- Derrick finally speaks. He sighs, then turns to face me. "Massie. Did you...kiss Cam?"

I try not to tear my eyes away from the spot in between his eyebrows. It's the closest I can come to looking in his eyes. Do I look guilty? What do I say? 'No, Cam kissed me'? That's the oldest line in the book, and everyone knows it's not true.

"I knew it," Derrick turns back to face the lake, a mixture of hurt and anger crossing his handsome face. "Fuck. I knew you had a thing for him."

"I don't have a thing for Cam," I say, my voice barely a whisper. "I..I just...last summer, when we were broken up, I sort of thought maybe I liked him. But we're together now. I just-"

"Don't." Derrick says, never once looking at me.

So we sit in silence for another twelve minutes and forty-nine seconds. In the silence, I try and process my thoughts. Now that there's a chance Derrick and I are done, I realize just how much I absolutely love him and how lost I'd be without him as my boyfriend. I don't want to lose him. We're supposed to get married in Westchester, buy a penthouse in New York City, Derrick working for his dad, me working at some law firm. We're supposed to have a black giant shnauzer named Nelson. He'll surprise me with presents from Tiffany's once a month, just because. Our future is planned out. It's safe. It's what we both want.

Well...wanted. What'll happen now that he knows I kissed Cam?

"We're going to NYU in a few months, Massie," he says. "We're going to college together. _College. _You're eighteen.Don't you think it's about fucking time you grew up?"

And then before I can even think of something to say back, Derrick stands up and walks back into the DH, the door slamming loudly behind him.

* * *

Claire, Olivia and Dylan find me forty-five minutes later, during freedom. Sometime between when Derrick had left and now, I'd made my way down to the beach, lying on my back on the dock, just watching the stars.

"Hey," Olivia says, sitting cross-legged and propping my head up on her lap. She starts braiding my hair, something I've always found comforting. Except now it makes me think of Derrick, and how excited he'd been when I taught him how to braid. How we'd just lie in the hammock on the roof of his blankets, piled with blankets, and he'd braid my hair. All winter. Just me and him.

And then I start crying again. Claire holds my hand, dangling her long tanned legs over the edge of the dock in the cold lake. Dylan sits beside me, looking at me sadly.

"We know what happened," Dylan says softly. "Why didn't you tell me and Livs, Massie? It's not like you didn't have time, I asked you so many times if anything was wrong. You could've told us."

"No I couldn't have," I sob. "You'd slaughter me if I ruined your social structure! Don't try and deny it, Dylan, we both know it's true! You're like my parents! They want me to date Derrick because it's safe, you want me to date him because it's safe, because nothing will change," I can't help but say it all, the words just pour out of my mouth.

Dylan and Olivia are in silence, surprised at my outburst. "Oh," Olivia says, stopping braiding my hair.

"I think we should go," Dylan says to her. "Our girls are probably wondering where we are."

They stand up and walk off the dock. I watch them disappear, but I can't bring myself to apologize. Why say sorry for something that's true?

"Oh, Massie," Claire sighs, rolling onto her back beside me. "What the fuck are we going to do now?"

"I dunno," I mumble. "You should probably get back to the girls. Mind if I stay here?"

"Don't fall asleep, you'll fall off the dock and drown," she warns me.

"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea," I mutter, causing Claire to nudge me with her foot.

"Don't joke," she says. "Things will be okay. I promise."

I sigh. "I hope you're right."

* * *

"Claire said I might find you here."

I jump at the sudden sound of Cam's voice. It's gotta be at least an hour later, close to eleven o'clock. It had been silent for so long, just the soothing sound of the waves, and then Cam's there.

"I'm sorry I told Derrick," he says gently.

"I should've told him myself," my voice sounds wooden and hollow, even to me.

"Yeah but I shouldn't have told him," Cam sits down beside me. "I was just so pissed at him. Are you guys...over?"

"I don't know," I mumble, playing with the ratty strings of my bracelet.

"Do you want things to be over?"

"I don't know," I say again, my voice cracking. Oh god, just make me stop crying!

"I'll be here for you, if you need to like..talk or cry or whatever," he says quietly. "As a friend...not as a...whatever I am to you."

"You're my friend, Cam," I tell him, sniffling and wiping my eyes.

"Do you think I'll ever be more than that to you?"

"I...I don't know. Right now, I'm not quite sure what I do know and what I don't."

"I see," he says. "So..any plans for the fall? College. It's all so different."

"I don't know," I rake my hand through my hair, getting my bangs out of my face. "I got accepted to Yale and NYU. The parents want me to go to Yale, but they also think going to NYU with Derrick would be good for me. Derrick's got a good job all lined up working for his dad, there's some good law firms in the city. It's all planned out. But now..I don't know."

"How does that not drive you nuts?" Cam asks. "Your parents, Dylan, Derrick. They've all planned out how you live and how you're going to live. Don't you get a say in any of it?"

I pause. "Kinda. I mean, it's not like I'm living in 1912 or anything, where I'm expected to do exactly as I'm told. They're all just looking out for me...what are you doing come September?"

"I don't know," Cam looks up at the starry sky, as if that could tell him. "I got accepted to UBC, up north. It'd be kinda cool to be up there with Olivia everyday."

There's a sudden flash of jealousy in my stomach that's so intense I can't just ignore it. Why does Olivia get to see him everyday? Why not me? Him and Olivia aren't even great friends like we are. And would they live in the coed dorms? Like..together? Would they date? Would they be fuck buddies?

"I don't think I want to go to university right away," he nods to himself. "I think I want to take a year off. Travel. Maybe to Greece. Or Thailand."

"That sounds fun," I tell him. If I'd felt threatened with Olivia and him together all year, what would I do with him and all the hot Greek or Thai girls?

"Just me and the big, wide world," he stands up, his knees cracking. "C'mon, Mass. You should probably get some sleep."

He walks me to my cabin in silence. All the lights are off, everyone must be asleep. "Night Cam," I say, the dull ache in my chest returning.

"Night Massie. Sweet dreams."


	8. Chapter 8

I wish it was summer, but no...it's -19 up here...

But once again, thank you for your lovely reviews!

And still contemplating between Cam or Derrick...:)

oh and dear annonymous reviewer, it IS free to create an account, so go make one!:)

oh and dear mean annonymous reviewer, please grow some balls and log in before hating on me! thanks:)

* * *

"Massie, come on, we have tennis."

"My shoulder hurts, I'm just going to stay here and take a nap."

..

"Ready for GS, Mass?"

"Umm I have my period. And really bad cramps. I'll just stay here. I could use a nap anyway."

..

"Come on ladies, who's ready for dinner? Mass, you coming? It's pizza night, you know that's your favourite!"

"I'm really not hungry, Claire. I'm just going to stay here, 'kay?"

..

"Bitch, get up! We have soccer against cabin twenty!"

"I'm really tired, C, mind if I just stay here and sleep? You know I'd be no help anyways."

..

And that's how my week goes. I can't bring myself to get out of bed. I can't bring myself to face Derrick or Cam or Dylan and Olivia. I can't bring myself to face the pitying stares of everyone who knows what happened. I can't bring myself to face the real world.

* * *

"Happy July fourth!" Ripple screams from somewhere in the bunk room. There's some cheers and one of those things you blow in and they go BZZZ. How can they all be so happy?

Claire walks into our room and shuts the door behind us. Her gold curls are pushed back by a white bow and with her navy bandeau bikini top and red short shorts, she's definitely rocking the patriotic look. She absently sprays her neck with perfume and touches up her mascara.

And she doesn't ask me if I want to join them. She doesn't ask if I'm all right. She barely even looks at me.

"Are you mad at me?" I ask her, my right cheek pressed against my pillow, where it's been the past week.

She stares at me for a second, surprised, since this is the first time I've spoken without being spoken to first all week. "No," she says, before dusting sparkly bronzer along her collarbone.

"You seem like it," I mumble, the smell of her DKNY perfume tickling my nose.

"I'm just...tired, Mass," she sighs. "Tired of you wasting all your time in that bed. When was the last time you came to an activity with us? When was the last time you came to dinner, instead of having me bring you food? When was the last time you _showered_?"

"I dunno," I mumble. "C, I put up with you being sad last summer when you and Josh broke up. Can't you just let me be sad too?"

"No," she says firmly. "Honestly Massie, I wish you hadn't let me spend more than three weeks acting like a zombie. Be happy, moping around will only make you feel worse."

"No it won't," I say stubbornly.

"Look. I know you don't want to hear this, but tough love is the only thing that's going to work. Either you start acting like the Massie that I love or I'll get a new co-counselor. I don't know what Landon'll do to you, you'll probably just go home."

"Claire-"

"It's been a week, Massie! I know you're sad, but this is long enough. And I don't know if you've noticed this, but Cam IS IN LOVE WITH YOU! And you feel something for him too, don't deny it. Derrick is _one_ boy. He won't be the last person in love with you. So get the fuck out of bed and come to the fourth of July barbeque with me! But maybe you should shower first," her slightly freckled nose wrinkles. "You kind of reek."

For the first time in what feels like forever, I smile. Then start to laugh, causing a relieved smile to break out on Claire's tanned face.

After showering, I let Claire French braid my hair and do my makeup and slip into the red, white and blue outfit she picked out for me.

"You look pretty," she says and hugs me hard.

"Thanks C," I say, not for the compliment, but for helping me get out of my funk. I take a deep breath. "Ready to go face the real world?"

Claire grins and loops her arm through mine. "Ready to rock it."

* * *

The beach is crowded, blankets spread out on every square inch of land, tiki lamps providing light, people singing or talking or laughing or cuddling. Landon's manning the barbeques, as always. I see Dylan by his side this time, basting whatever he tells her to with barbeque sauce. She looks up and sees us, but is quickly distracted again by Landon.

"Things have been kinda...weird with Olivia and Dylan," Claire tells me quietly. "Since your freakout at them...I think they're mad."

I wave to Olivia, but she quickly looks away and pretends to listen to what one of her campers is saying. "That would explain _that_," I sigh. "I should apologize."

"Not tonight," Claire shakes her head. "Tonight, just focus on being happy. And -Oh hey!" she breaks off as Josh wraps her in a hug from behind.

My heart breaks. Will I ever have a boy to hug again? Will I ever get little love notes or presents from a boyfriend? No. I'll just live alone with my sixty cats. And I'm allergic to cats.

"Massie," Cam spies us and walks over. "Hey! Um, I didn't think I'd see you out here tonight."

"My hibernation is over," I force a smile. Only when I'm near Cam, the smile isn't as hard to do.

"Good," He grins. "I was beginning to miss the annoying sound of your voice."

"My voice is not annoying!" I slap him on the shoulder.

He just chuckles and holds out a burnt hotdog. "No butter, extra mustard."

"You know how I take my hot dogs?" I ask, feeling oddly touched.

"You're my best friend," he laughs a little. "Of course I do. And you're the only person I know who eats that much mustard," his nose crinkles. "Gross."

"Shut up, or I'm not sitting with you during the fireworks!"

"Is that a threat of a promise?"

I kick him in the ankle, hard enough to make him hold his ankle up in pain. "God," he tells me, grinning. "You're a freaking bully. No wonder everyone does what you tell them, you abuse them into it!"

"Love hurts," I pat him on the cheek and sink onto the blanket Claire set up. And with a shock, I realize something -I didn't think about Derrick or being sad for the whole ten minutes I was with Cam.

* * *

The fireworks are -as always- spectactular, causing everyone to _oooh _and _ahhh_ over them. Campers are scattered everywhere, no one with their counselors. Dylan and Landon are all alone by the barbeques still. Olivia and Todd are wading in the water with a few campers, splashing each other. Josh and Claire are making out to my right -ew, ew, ew, ew, ew, EW- and Cam's to my left, leaning back on his hands and facing the sky.

Derrick's sitting with Danny Robbins and spent all night stealing peeks over here. He looked so hurt when he saw me sitting with Cam. It made me want to go back into hibernation.

After the fireworks is freetime, so Claire and I decide to go make hot chocolate in the counselor's room in the Big House. Olivia and Dylan are already there, sipping from steaming mugs and sitting at the island.

I hesitate before shooting them a smile. Olivia smiles briefly before taking a sip from her hot chocolate and Dylan ignores me completely.

"The fireworks were great tonight," Claire says, her back to us as she grabs milk from the fridge. "Congratulate Landon for me."

"Mmkay," Dylan says, sipping from her mug too.

Well. This is awkward. I quickly go help Claire with the hot chocolate, just so I don't have to face Dylan and Olivia.

Claire waits in the stool across from them as I wait by the microwave for our hot chocolates. I hear them mumbling about something with a lot of awkward gaps in the conversation. Dammit. Things are as awkward for Claire and them as it is for me and them.

I feel tears spring to my eyes. Claire's relationship with them is awkward because she took my side in all of this. Because she's my best friend.

"Ready?" I ask her, holding out a mug.

She takes it with a smile before eyeing Olivia and Dylan. "Um, see you later," she murmurs.

"See ya," Olivia says, the way she would to a stranger -no warmth whatsoever.

Dylan and I don't say anything. I take Claire's hand that's not holding the hot chocolate and we leave the counselor's room. I can tell she's feeling as sad as I am. But we run into Josh and Derrick and Claire's sadness melts away.

Mine, on the other hand, doesn't.

"Hi," I say softly.

Derrick looks at me for a second before sighing, nodding his hello, then walking towards his and Cam's cabins.

I feel my lower lip start to tremble and then Claire's holding my hand again, as well as Josh's. "Bear, can I talk to Massie?" Josh asks, kissing her nose.

Claire nods and smiles at me before skipping off towards the dark beach. "Meet me at the beach!" she tells Josh.

Josh and I sit on the bench where I'd sat two years ago -about to be kicked out of camp-, and he sighs. "You okay?"

I nod, not trusting my voice.

"He's not," Josh tells me.

"What do you mean?" I ask softly, afraid of his answer.

"Derrick is so fucking in love with you, Massie. And you really, really hurt him."

"I didn't mean to," I say, feelings tears well up in my eyes for the millionth time today.

"No one means to hurt the people they love," he says. "Trust me, I know that from experience." He pauses, probably waiting for me to say something, but I don't. "Look Mass. I like you. A lot. You're an amazing friend to Claire, a great person, you helped me a lot last summer and you're the only one out of Claire's friends who texts me and seems genuinely happy to see you."

"That's because I usually _am _happy to see you," I say, wiping my nose.

"So I want to help you. If it weren't for you, I don't think I'd have had enough courage to talk to Claire last summer, and we wouldn't be back together now. But in order for me to help you, you need to choose."

"Choose what?" I ask, even though I know exactly what he's talking about.

"Derrick or Cam."

"I can't just...pick one," I say miserably. "I love them both."

"I'm not saying this because Derrick's my best friend, but you and Derrick were perfect. Like you complimented each other so well and you two had your whole lives planned out. You have history."

I want to tell him that that doesn't mean I'm better off with Derrick, but I don't. If he's like everyone else, he'll tell me that yes, it does mean that. "You should go find Claire," I tell him. "Thanks though, J."

"No problem, Massie," he stands up and makes his way into the darkness down to the beach.

"Surprise!" a new voice sounds from behind me. I whip around to find Cam, the flourescent bug light glinting off his golden hair. Only Cam could look incredibly good under flourescent lights.

"Hi!" I feel a grin appear on my face, Cam having brightened my mood instantly.

"Wanna go for a hike?"

"Cam, it's quarter to eleven. For one thing, we're not allowed. For another, do you _know _how many scary creatures are out in the woods at night?"

"Scared?"

"I'm not scared of anything," I stick out my tongue.

"Then come on," Cam grabs my wrist and drags me away from the cabins and towards the woods. I swallow my fear and ignore the tingles humming up my arm from his touch.

Does that mean I have my answer? Is Cam who I want to date? We walk in the dark woods and I ignore the confused feelings swirling around in my head and the scared witless feelings swirling around everywhere else.

I'm in the _woods. _At _midnight_. There's mountain lions and raccoons and spiders and...and _squirrels _out here!

A memory from my first summer hits me like a punch to the stomach. In the beginning of the summer, before Derrick and I started dating, we went for a hike before lights out, and he held my hand because I was scared. The stars had been amazing.

I look up at the sky. Cloudy. I'm kinda disappointed, the stars just made it all the more romantic. But maybe this is a sign -the stars were mine and Derrick's thing. Now I'm here with a new guy, so there should be new weather?

That makes no sense. Even for me.

For the first time in what feels like forever, I don't feel the instense heartache while thinking of memories I shared with Derrick. There's just...nothing. No tears. No wishing I could go back to my first summer.

Let's head back," Cam says, and we turn around and find our ways to the cabins.

I'm still shocked over feeling nothing over Derrick. The only thing I can feel is the butterflies in the pit of my stomach from being with Cam.

And, of course, the ever-present feeling of 'what the fuck am I doing'?

* * *

Two weeks later, I feel less and less heartbroken over Derrick and more and more excited over the possible idea of me and Cam as a couple.

I also find myself closer than ever to Claire, but more distant than ever with Olivia and Dylan. It's not like last year, when we were so mad and fighting -at least then I knew we still felt _something _towards each other, even if it was hate.

But now it's like...we're as polite to each other as we would be to anyone else at camp. We're not mean but we're not friendly.

For example:

This morning, while in line for breakfast, I pause at the fruit selection alongside Olivia.

She smiles politely at me over the oranges, but her bright blue eyes don't hold the warmth they usually do.

I give her a curt nod back and reach for a granny smith apple. "How are you?"

"Great, thanks," she says, glancing behind her at her cabin's table, like she'd rather be anywhere than with me.

"That's good," I polish my apple on my sleeve, wondering what on earth to say next.

"Well...um, see you later," she stammers slightly, reaches for an orange, gives me one last slight smile and then turns around and walks to her table.

And only after she's sitting with Dylan and her campers did I realize that missing from her skinny wrist was her lime green and gold friendship bracelet.


	9. Chapter 9

I haven't updated in forever.

I apologize! Review:)

* * *

"Present for you," Claire enters are cabin, holding an armful of mail. "From Skye," she tosses a small, square cardboard box onto Jasmine's bed, where I'm sitting.

I slice the tape open with me finger and read the pale blue Post-It note with Skye's neat, perfect handwriting on it.

_Massieee!_

_How's camp so far? How are the girls? How's Derrriiiccckkk! I know you're a counselor now, but would it kill you to call me once in a while? No, it wouldn't. So give me a call sometime, loser. Unless you're too busy with Derrick! But anyway, give these to the girls for me and know that I'm wearing mine! My lanyard is tucked away safely in its own drawer of my jewellery box. _

_Love you! xoxoxoxo_

_Skye_

I bite back a sigh. Boy, do I need to call Skye. She has no idea what's going on, how different things are. I look past the packing peanuts and find a little gold box, containing four thin silver bracelets. On a tiny, round pendant was either a C, an O, a D or an M. Claire, Olivia, Dylan and Massie.

My heart squeezes. Will there be any point in wearing the bracelet? Are we still friends? Will we ever be friends again?

"What's up with you guys?" Lilah asks, glancing at the bracelets and then up at me. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. But it's weird seeing you guys not all together, plotting or whatever it is you do."

"It is, isn't it?" I murmur, half to myself.

"And you guys were like _legendary,_" Ripple pipes up. "The way you got that Nikki girl out of camp last year? Brilliant!"

Claire grins at me over a letter from her mom. I can tell we're thinking the same thing. "Will you excuse us?" she flashes the girls her incredibly charming smile.

She slips her C bracelet on before slipping her hand into mine as we walk down the porch stairs and make our way down to Dylan and Olivia's cabin.

"They're a little dressy for camp," Claire admires our wrists as we walk. "But I like them."

"I don't know if I'm ready to give up my lanyard yet," I tell her. "It's grimy and everything but...I haven't seen my wrist naked for like two years."

Claire doesn't say anything because we've arrived at their cabin. She flashes me a smile before opening the door and walking in. I'm quick to follow. "Morning, sluts!" Claire sits on one of their campers' bed and crosses her legs. "Skye sent us presents!"

I give Olivia and Dylan theirs, shooting them both small smiles. "New friendship bracelets," I tell them, trying to feel as relaxed as Claire.

"These are nice but..I like our old ones," Olivia runs her finger along the silver bracelet.

"Then why haven't you been wearing it?" I can't help but demand.

Olivia kicks out her left foot, and on her thin ankle it her lime green and gold bracelet. Dylan does the same, revealing her bracelet too.

"Oh," Claire says. "We thought you took them off because we weren't friends."

"We're not friends," Olivia says simply, causing my heart to sink.

"We're soulmates," Dylan rolls her mint-green eyes and grins. "_Obviously, _guys!"

"Oh," Claire says again, looking at me and then snorting.

"We knew that," I grin.

"'Course ya did, Block," Olivia laughs.

I'm grinning so hard, I feel like my bronzed cheeks are going to crack. But I don't even care -I have my girls back and that's all that matters.

* * *

"Massie! Massie! Ohmigod you missed it!"

I walk into the cabin, Claire behind me, to find our campers shrieking and screaming. "Missed what?" I do a mental head-check, just in case I missed like an alien landing and the abduction of one of my kids.

"GO LOOK IN YOUR ROOM!" Lilah shrieks, her gum almost falling out of her mouth since it's open so wide.

I shoot Claire a cautious look, but she just shrugs, looking as confused as I feel. When I open the door to mine and Claire's room, the first thing I notice is the hand-picked bouquet of daisies from the daisy fields laying on my bed.

And it's tied together with braided string.

"Derrick came looking for you!" Ripple shrieks. "And what did he say? He brought daisies because-"

"Because he knows I wear Marc Jacobs perfume?" I ask softly, remembering how he's done that the past two summers.

"Yes!" Ripple sighs dreamily. "Sooooo romantic!"

"Are you going to get back together with him?" Jasmine's eyes bug out of her head with excitement.

I look over my shoulder, behind me at Claire. She shrugs. I still love Derrick, sure, but I'm finally over being in love with him. I thought I was so ready to move on...

But now there's this. It's obvious everyone wants me to get back together with him. And the flowers are a sweet move. But they were a sweet move last summer, and the summer before that. Shouldn't it be time for something...new and exciting?

"Go talk to Derrick," the girls plead and insist.

The least I can do is talk to him. So I ask Claire to find me some water and a vase, ignore the hard look she gives me, and then I make my way to Derrick's cabin.

And less than twelve meters away, I run into Cam.

"Hey!" a grin lights up his handsome face when he sees me.

"Hey," I murmur. "I-"

"Massie!" Derrick calls from the porch of his and Cam's cabin. He jumps off the wicker bench he'd been sitting on, a huge grin plastered to his face. God, why is he so cute? But then why is Cam so handsome? And sweet and funny and caring?

"Oh," Cam looks from Derrick and back to me. "Didn't mean to interrupt," his tone is clipped, which makes me wonder maybe -just maybe- he doesn't like the idea of Derrick and I getting back together. "I'll leave you two alone then."

"See you later?" I almost beg.

Cam shrugs, and disappears down to the beach. Derrick takes his place in an instant. "Did you get my flowers?"

I nod, watching Cam's retreating figure. I feel a lump start to form in my throat -but why? It's not like Cam and I are anything but friends-

"So what do you say? Are we back together?" he grabs my hand. I look down at our entertwined hands and feel...nothing. No butterflies. It's nice and everything -warm and comforting. But it's boring. And old.

"I..."

"DERRICK! MASSIE!"

Before I know it, there's a crowd of people around us, congratulating us on getting back together. Derrick grins at me and I can only manage a weak half smile back at him.

Guess we're back together afterall.

* * *

I stay with Derrick because it's familiar. It's what everyone wants. It's safe. We have our futures planned out. In a few years, we'll get married -after I finish law school and Derrick opens a new branch of his dad's hotel business. We'll have three gorgeous kids -blonde hair, amber eyes and Derrick's goofy grin. We'll live in a sprawling penthouse over looking Central Park, in the city so Derrick's close to his dad and close enough to Westchester so the kids can zip over to Grandma and Grandpa Block's for the weekend if needed.

It's all planned out. But...where's my epic adventure in all this? I'd considered going out to California for college -UCLA with Claire sounded great- or taking a few years off to design jewellery with Skye. But by now, Mom had probably sent off my tuition fees to Yale, and I'd be heading there next month.

"Everything okay?"

"Everything's peachy."

"You've got that blank look on your face," Derrick studies me. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Giving your girlfriend money, Derrick? That's prostitition," Dylan grins.

"Kinkyyyyy," Claire laughs.

I half smile at the group of counselors surrounding me and Derrick. Lacking from the group is Cam. And he's the one I want near me the most.


	10. Chapter 10

hi guys. been a while.

* * *

"Hey!" I pant, out of breath from sprinting across half the soccer field to catch up with Cam. "I called your name like four times. Didn't you hear me?"

"Oh," Cam blinks his multicoloured eyes at me. "Sorry. Guess not."

"What's up?" I put my hands on my hips, trying not to appear as winded as I actually am. Guess I need to get in better shape. Wheezing is _not _cute and-

Wait. I don't need to appear cute in front of Cam. I have a boyfriend again. And Cam's just the best friend.

The best friend who I haven't seen in like four days. Derrick said he was sick, which I guess could be true, since I had to teach canoeing alone (not an easy task, trust me). But looking at Cam now with his tanned skin, bangs gelled up perfectly and sparkly eyes, he looks like the picture of health.

"Just off to grab some lunch. Derrick took all the campers for a hike during freetime, guess they're not back yet."

"Mind if I join you? My campers are tanning with Claire."

"Sure," Cam chuckles as we proceed walking to the Dining Hall. "God, your campers are going to be just like you and Claire. Have to say, I am not excited to see those girls when they're seventeen."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I elbow him in the ribs.

"We can barely handle you and Claire, can you imagine a bunch of mini Massies and Claires running around here?"

I giggle and reach for a bottle of water. "So. Thought anymore about where you're going to go next month?"

Cam shrugs. "No idea. I've gotta decide and let my mom know soon though. There's only three weeks of this summer left and then when I get home I have to pack and then...leave. What about you?"

"Yale," I trace my finger in an arc on the table we're sitting at.

"Don't sound _too _excited," Cam jokes and raises his golden eyebrows.

"I am," I say. "I _am _excited," I say again, trying to sound a little more upbeat and convincing.

And I am excited. Yale's a great school and I've always wanted to live in New England. And me and Derrick will be there together.

Cam nods, clearly not believing me. "Yale's a good school. My brother went there for half a year."

"Can't be that great if he only was there for half the year," I grin. "What happened the rest of the year?"

"He dropped school all together. Backpacked all around Asia. I guess that's why I want to do it -Harris came back with all these crazy stories and amazing finds. I want to do that. Have something cool to tell my kids one day, you know?"

I nod. That all makes perfect sense -and makes me a little wistful too. What will I tell my kids one day? 'I met your dad at camp before going to Yale with him and getting a degree in law'? Not exciting at all. "Backpacking around Asia would be a lot of fun."

Cam shrugs. "If I go, it won't be backpacking around Asia. That was Harris' adventure. And walking all that way would probably kill me. I want to just take a train all around Europe. Stop in little cafes or outdoor markets. Corny, I know."

I grin. "That's not corny! I used to want to do that when I was younger. I'd come home with a bunch of cute European clothes, and probably sixteen pounds fatter from all the pastries and chocolates. But I just felt like it was something I had to do before I died."

"Come with me," Cam forces a laugh. I know he's trying to make it seem like he's joking, but there's definitely a serious undertone in there.

"I'll meet you in Europe," I smile. "Gotta finish half a year at Yale first."

We both laugh, just as Derrick enters the DH, slightly sweaty and surrounded by his campers.

"Hey," he smiles at me, somewhat out of breath. I inwardly sigh -it's that smile I love so much.

"Hi," I smile back. "How was the hike?"

"Great, we saw some snakes, hey guys?"

His campers grin and nod, quickly enveloping Cam and telling him all about the snakes.

"Let's go for a walk," Derrick says to me.

"You just came back from one," I tell him, standing up so he can have my chair. "We'll go for one later -I've got to help C with the campers anyway."

"Oh," Derrick's shoulders slump. "'Kay. Love you."

"Love you too," I murmur before turning and disappearing out of the DH.

* * *

"Derrick," I mumble, leaning against his strong chest.

It's later that night during freetime, and we're sitting on my porch, watching the sunset. The moment would be totally perfect if it didn't feel so...deja vu.

"Mmm?" Derrick murmurs, his eyes closed. His long dark lashes rest lightly on his cheekbones. Lashes that are completely wasted on a boy -they're perfect.

"Do you ever feel like..." I trail off, unsure of what I'm trying to say.

"Feel like I'm the luckiest guy in the world for getting to spend my time with you?" his arms tighten around me. "Yeah, I feel like that all the time."

Aweeeh. Okay, that was really really sweet. And it melts away anything I'd been feeling.

"Really though," he said. "Do I ever feel like what?"

I hesitate. "Nothing. It's nothing."

* * *

"I wish I was tanned," I hear Dylan murmur beside Olivia. The four of us are spread out on the beach during General Swim, hoping to get just a little more brown before the summer's over.

Well, Olivia, Claire and I are. Dylan's still pasty as ever, and with her SPF 85 sunscreen, I doubt she'll be getting a tan.

"Hah, you have two weeks left to try," I tell her. "I can't believe there's only two weeks of camp left."

"I knoow," Olivia sighs. "So I'm assuming you've finally chosen a college? Deadlines were like...last week."

"I called my mom," I say. "Yale it is, with Derrick."

"Aweeh," Olivia cooes, a smile on her face.

"I have to pee," I announce and stand up. "Be back."

Instead of going to the bathrooms, I throw on my shorts and a tank top and search for Cam, since I haven't seen him for a few days.

I find him alone in the Counselor Room's kitchen, drinking what smells like vodka. "Are you _drinking_?" I ask, shocked. "Cam, it's eleven-thirty!"

"It's five o'clock somewhere," he chuckles. "And it's one drink."

"Pour me one," I sigh. "My best friend isn't spending his day drinking alone. But just _one._"

* * *

An hour and four and a half Smirnoff and Cokes later, I was happily buzzed and somehow Cam was still fully sober.

"How is your world not spinning?" I ask him, over-enunciating as to not sound as tipsy as I feel. "You've had more to drink than me."

"I'm not a lightweight," he chuckles. "I can hold my own while drinking, unlike _someone._"

"I can hold my own," I slur. "I _can _hold my own," I say again, trying to sound more confident and more sober.

"'Course ya can, Mass," Cam chuckles again. "So much for one drink, huh?"

"Will you kiss me?" I ask.

Maybe it's all the alcohol in my blood, or the pleasant haze around my brain, but something causes a surge of boldness to bounce through me.

"No," Cam says firmly. "The last time that I..I kissed you, look what happened. Your boyfriend found out and dumped you, and you got all mopey and depressing. I don't want you to go through that again."

_"Kiss me,"_ I insist. "It'll be a...a test! Yeah, a test. To see if I'm over you."

Cam looks pained, but I'm too drunk to register why. "Don't you get it, Mass?" he asks, keeping his multicoloured eyes trained on the ground, avoiding me. "It may just be some silly little test to you, but I know I'm not over you. And kissing you...that would kill me. Hell, Massie, just standing beside you and not being able to put my arm around you or anything, that kills me."

I'm silent for a second, trying to process it all. Had Cam just...admitted he had feelings for me? Dylan, Olivia and Claire had been right all along then.

"Kiss me," I say again, suddenly sober. "I'm serious, Cam."

Cam sighs, like it's killing him, but then he leans across the table and presses his lips to mine.


	11. Chapter 11

"Claire?"

"Mmm?"

"I love Cam."

"No shit," Claire snorts from her bed. It's twelve o'clock that night, and I feel kinda bad for keeping Claire up, but I've got to talk to _someone_, and Claire's my best friend. Besides, it's one of our last weeks of camp, and who knows how different things will be next year? Will we even see each other to have these late-night talks?

When I don't say anything, Claire takes in a breath and says "Wait..like, _love _Cam? Like love him in a more than you love Derrick kind of way?"

I nod, then say "Yeah," since she can't see me in the dark. "I think so. I mean...I love Derrick so much, don't get me wrong, it's just...I don't know."

"Well then," Claire appears beside me, clutching a pink cased pillow. I worm my way to one side so there's room for the both of us. Well _barely _room; this _is _a twin bed. "Want my advice?"

"Of course."

"Other than the whole 'do the right thing' thing?"

"Yeah, I've never been one to do that. Too impulsive, I guess." I sigh.

"Okay. Go with Cam. You're in a relationship right now, right? And you may _think _it's going great, but obviously its not, otherwise you wouldn't even be considering another guy."

I'm silent for a sec. She's totally right. Somewhere along the line, things with Derrick just...changed. What we had was great, but that's just it -it _was _great. Now I need something new. I rest my head against Claire's shoulder. "When did you get so smart?"

She giggles. "Puh-lease, I'm a freaking genius. Everyone knows that."

* * *

The next day, I teach canoeing alone. "Where's Cam?" I ask a boy in his cabin.

The kid shrugs. "I don't know, he went to talk to Landon this morning and then wasn't at breakfast."

"Hope he's okay," I mutter. "He so owes me for bailing."

It wasn't just that I was bummed about having to teach canoeing alone, I'd wanted to talk to Cam about, well, us.

Cam's not at dinner that night either, so I head to his cabin, hoping to find him sick and in bed, instead of just avoiding me.

Instead, I find him packing.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh," he jumps, as I obviously startled him. "Packing."

"For? There's still a week and a half left."

Cam's multicoloured eyes glance down at the scratched wooden floorboards. "I'm leaving early. I talked to Landon and Derrick, they're cool. I gotta get my shit together. Book flights, learn how to speak French, maybe Spanish."

"So this is it?" I'm pretty sure my voice is close to a yell. I can't tell if I'm angry or heartbroken or both. "You're just leaving? And let me guess, we won't talk all year again, am I right?"

Cam continues to look at his sandal covered feet. Doesn't say anything. I don't say anything, just silently try to calm myself down. Finally, because I can't stand breathing the same oxygen as Cam, I mumble "I have to go" and race onto the porch and down the stairs.

* * *

Back in the Dining Hall, everyone's still eating and laughing and enjoying each other's company. Olivia and Dylan are laughing at something one of their campers are saying. Josh had sneaked away from his own table to fill my spot at Claire's, and they're giggling to each other over something. Derrick catches my eye and waves me over.

Tears fill my eyes as I make my way over there, and I try threatening them to go back down. But of course, they don't listen.

"What's wrong?" Derrick asks, instantly concerned, as soon as I reach his table. His campers hush, and quickly, it feels like the whole room has too. Everyone's subtly listening and watching.

"I need to talk to you," I say, my voice shaking. Damn it.

"We are talking," he smiles, but there's a serious note in his usually laughing eyes.

"Outside," I grab his warm hand and lead him out of the DH, away from all the campers and counselors.

We sit on the porch of the DH for a couple moments, and I'm reminded of the beginning of the summer, when Derrick had dragged me out here and broken up with me for kissing Cam and breaking his heart.

Things really don't change.

"Is everything okay?" Derrick asks me gently. I know he doesn't mean in general, he means with _us. _

I'm silent. What do I say? 'I kissed your co-counselor, now instead of going to college with you in a few weeks, I plan to backpack around Europe with him'? Fuck. I should've planned this out more.

"Remember when you told me to grow up?" I said, remembering the very conversation we had on these very adirondack chairs, not so long ago.

"I'm sorry about that, Mass, I really am-"

"I agree. I need to grow up. And I need to..move on. See other things, other places, other-"

"People," Derrick finishes quietly for me.

I hold my breath. "Yeah." I murmur softly.

"Should've been expecting this, I guess," he sighs, putting his face in his hands. "For Fisher, am I right? I've seen the way you look at him, everyone has." He lifts his face up to look at me. "You haven't looked at me that way in a long time."

I'm silent. It's true. The pain in his chocolatey brown eyes is almost unbearable, and for a split second, I wish I could tell him I take it all back, and I'm ready for college.

But I don't. It's not fair that I keep playing both Cam and Derrick.

"So..."

"So," I repeat. "I'm sorry Derrick. I really, really am. I love you but I just..."

"Need a change?" he offers.

I shrug, "I suppose so. But...are we good? Even if we're not together, I wouldn't be able to handle it if you weren't a big part of my life."

Derrick chuckles. "I know the feeling. We're...good."

I lean over to hug him, but he leans away. "Give me some time," he takes a deep breath and smiles apologetically. "Just a little bit."

"I understand," I tell him, getting out of the uncomfortable chair. "I'll see you around."

He nods, but doesn't reply.

So I take that as my cue to go find Cam.

* * *

I should've known I would've run into _someone _between the time I was with Derrick and with Cam.

I just didn't know it would be Derrick's and Cam's campers. All four twelve to fifteen year olds. A scrawny one -he's gotta be the youngest- glares up at me. "Did you just break up with Derrick?" he demands.

"I..well, it was a...mutal..breakup," I murmur, making it up a little.

"Did you make him all sad and annoying again? At the beginning of the summer when you two broke up, he was boring! All he did was sniffle and hide out in his room. He actually made Cam seem like the _fun _one!"

Then my campers appear. "You broke up with Derrick?" Lilah cries. "Why?"

"Oh my gawd, Massie, it's _Derrick_!" Ripple squeals. "He's _so so so so so _cuute!"

I notice one of the boys scoffs at this. I open my mouth to say something, _anything, _but then Cam comes to my rescue.

"You broke up with Derrick?" he feels like the millionth person to ask me that. His lips part slightly, as if he's totally shocked that I did.

"I...broke up with Derrick," I catch his eye. _'Cause I love you,_ I add silently.

"Okay, we've totally established that Massie dumped Derrick," Claire intervenes, having showed up while I was facing Cam. "It's getting boring," she rolls her big blue eyes. "So, last one to the beach has to lick Landon's foot!"

The campers take off squealing towards the beach, and Claire blows me a kiss before she runs after them.

"So," I say, hoping the awkward feeling in my stomach will leave.

"So," Cam repeats with a nod.

I take Cam's hand, which feels warm and nice. I can spend the rest of my summer with my hand in his and-

He pulls back his hand and puts it awkwardly behind his back.

"I just broke up with my boyfriend," I remind him, in case he somehow forgot within the last three seconds.

"Massie, exactly, you _just _broke up with your boyfriend. You're not ready for another one just seconds after you break up with Derrick."

"Yes I am! That's why I broke up with him! So we could be together!"

Cam chuckles. "You dated Derrick for what, three years? You don't jump into a new relationship that fast. Besides, Derrick's my cabinmate, we're watching over a bunch of brats together. Do you know how hard it would be if he was breathing the same air as the guy who stole his girlfriend? It was almost impossible for me not to punch him in the face most nights, because he was with you and I wasn't."

"Really?" I ask. "I mean, that would be kinda harsh but..he'd-"

"The time's not right," Cam insists.

I heave a huge sigh and glare at him. "I hate you, you know."

"We both know that you don't," Cam says cockily. I turn to leave to tell Dylan and Olivia and Claire everything, when Cam says "Oh and Mass, I'll need a partner for when I go to Europe. You in?"

A smile forms on my face. "Wouldn't miss it."


	12. Chapter 12

love you all.

btw. i'm back? hopefully for a while at least.

* * *

"Why does it feel like we've barely hung out all summer?"

"Mmm, 'cause it's true?"

"No it's not," Olivia protests, rolling her light blue eyes.

"We've hung out, just not the four of us," Dylan replies, taking a long sip from her sweating Diet Sprite can.

"And when we did, it was _so_ awk," Claire slips on her gold tinted aviators.

The four of us -_just _the four of us- are lounging on a sheet that Olivia and Dylan had nailed to two ends of their porch to make a hammock. Niether of them are very good handymen, so I admit that when I sat down on it, part of me was expecting my life to flash before my eyes.

Yet somehow, the four of us have been steadily swinging on it for the past half hour.

"One week left," Olivia sighs dramatically. "Then we enter the real world."

"Livs, you have to go back and retake Math 12," Dylan snorts, and me and Claire giggle.

"Yeah but I have to juggle Math 12 _and _my UBC courses, I have the hardest out of all of you! Especially Claire," she rolls her eyes and nudges Claire's arm with her toe.

Claire squeals and pulls away her arm. "Ew! Don't touch me with those nasty feet! And I have hard work to do," she crosses her tanned arms in front of her chest.

"Yeah, like pointing a camera in front of hot boys and saying 'action' is hard work," Olivia giggles.

"That's just going to get me started," Claire says. "Soon I'll be _in front _of the cameras."

"I'm going to miss you guys this year," Dylan says quietly, causing the rest of us to stare at her in shock. Dylan Marvil is _not _the loving, emotional type of friend.

"Aweh, Dyl," Olivia leans her head on Dylan's shoulder.

"Seriously. I mean, we've all lived away from each other already, but now we'll all be so busy. Maybe we won't have time to Skype every night. Or maybe Claire will meet a fellow actress and they'll be best friends, or Olivia will meet some snowboarding boyfriend and they'll go off to snowboard the Swiss Alps and she'll forget to tell us. Everyone knows there's no service in Switzerland.

"And when my sister went away to college, she never came home for breaks. But she didn't go out with friends either, she just stayed at the college for Christmas and Spring Break and Thanksgiving because she had so much work to do. It scares me to think that we could grow apart."

The reality of what Dylan just said sinks in, and with a sad feeling, I realize she's right. We could grow apart this year.

"We _could,_ but we won't." Claire grins. "I don't know about you guys, but I'll always make room for you. If I'm in the middle of a super important project, and one of you calls, I'm going to drop the project for you."

"C, there's a difference between promising that and then when the time comes, doing it. We can all say we'll stay together, but we don't know for sure if we will," Dylan protests. Olivia nods.

"Listen. The three of us have stuck together since we were what, six? And we stuck together when there was a new girl in our cabin, who turned out to be our best friend," she pauses to grin at me, and I happily smile back. "The four of us have stayed together when Skye got sick. We've faced Nikki together, we've stuck together even though we've kept secrets from each other and lied to each other. Even this summer, we had our moments, but look at us now. No matter what happens, we'll always end up together."

Olivia -ever the dramaqueen- wipes away a few tears, but even I can't help but feeling a _little _teary eyed. Dylan seems to have forgotten her fears and doubts, and smiles.

"We're soulmates," I conclude for Claire, glancing down at my new bracelet from Skye. We'd all put ours on a few days ago, and put the lanyards into retirement. I miss the ratty old thing.

"Skype dates every night?" Olivia looks at all of us, willing us to promise.

"Time differences," Claire rolls her eyes and kicks me gently.

"Hey, it could be seven where you guys are, but even if it's three am, I'll be waiting for a Skype call," I promise.

"Always?" Dylan holds up her elegant pinky finger.

Olivia, Claire and I wrap ours around hers. "Always."

* * *

"Have you ever noticed our canoe looks like a banana?" I ask Cam later that day. We're 'teaching' canoeing, but really, everyone is just floating around the lake in their canoes.

"Mmm, not really..." Cam raises an eyebrow at me. "It looks like a canoe."

"No. It looks like a banana, it's even yellow," I pat the side of the canoe, causing it to wobble unsteadily in the water.

"It matches our lifejackets," Cam snickers.

"They're completely different yellows," I roll my eyes at his ignorance. "The canoe is mustard yellow. The jackets are...flourecent yellow."

"There's a difference?"

"Yes! Obviously."

"I don't think there is," Cam shakes his head.

"Cam, trust me. I know my colours. There's a difference."

"You're stubborn," Cam chuckles.

I turn around to grin at him. "But that's what you love about me."

He laughs. "That's just one of the many things."

* * *

That night, before lights out, Olivia and I sneak into the Dining Hall to get a couple bags of marshmallows and have our own little campfire with Claire and Dylan and our campers. Well if we can find Dylan, she disappeared ages ago.

I trip, stubbing my toe against the metal counter. "Ow!" I squeak, causing Olivia to giggle. _"Shhh."_

We find two bags of marshmallows and are about to leave when Olivia stops moving. "What?" I whisper.

"I hear something," she widens her eyes. "Ohmygod, what if it's a burgler?"

"What would a burgler be doing in the middle of the woods?" I ask, forgetting to use my quiet voice.

"Good point," she squints in the darkness. "It's coming from over there..." we tiptoe towards where Olivia had pointed out and she shines her flashlight on Dylan and Landon making out.

"Ew!" We both shriek.

Dylan bursts out laughing and Landon puts his head in his hands.

"We could've been innocent six year olds," Olivia squeals, whipping a marshmallow at the two. It bounces off of Dylan's forehead and on to the floor. "When you're done with..._this_, you're both welcome to come join our bonfire!"

"You can't have a bonfire!" Landon says. Most of the time I forget he's quite a few years older than us and our boss. He just always seems so chill. "We only have two a year!"

"Well this year we'll have three," Olivia sticks out her tongue, grabs my hand and the two of us run out of the DH, flip flops thwacking on the wooden floors.

About forty-five minutes later, Dylan, Claire, Olivia, our campers and me are sitting by the huge fire pit, roasting marshmallows over a tiny fire. We're not nearly as good as Landon at making them.

"Are you guys coming back next year?" Ripple asks, wiping sticky marshmallow off her fingers and onto her jeans. "For counselling?"

The four of exchange a look, Dylan's fear having returned for a second. Would we come back? And if we did, would we be as close? Would things be the same? But remembering Claire's pep talk, I smile at our campers. "Of course we're coming back, this place is..." I trail off, trying to think of the perfect way to describe the camp that I love so much.

"It's home," Claire fills in for me, squeezing my hand. "I love LA, but this place is my home."

Dylan, Livs and I nod. Perfect way to describe it.

"Good," Ripple says, and the rest of the campers seem satisfied too. "Can we be in your cabins again? Dylan, you'll put in a good word to Landon for us, right?"

Dylan blushes, causing Olivia and me to giggle, thinking of what we'd seen.

"I wanna be just like you guys when I'm older," the youngest girl in Dylan's cabin tells us. Her name's Isabella, I think, and she's twelve.

"Why's that?" Olivia flashes a smile at the girl.

"You guys are so close," she bites into her marshmallow. "Like you guys can count on each other for anything."

"Yeah," Lilah chimes in. "You guys are like a _legend._"

"And the way you got that girl to leave camp last year? Brilliant!" Jasmine grins.

"Not to brag, but that's us," Dylan giggles.

The girls continue talking, but I tune them out, a warm feeling spreading through my entire body -and it's not because of the fire. Through thick and thin, the four of us have somehow stayed together. I catch Claire's eye and smile, this year she became my closest friend. Looking around at Dylan and Olivia makes me smile -everything we've been through together, it's just brought us closer together. I really believe we will be best friends. Always.


	13. Chapter 13

hi. been a while.

* * *

"RISE AND SHIIIIIIINE!"

I slowly open one eye to glare and my campers, who are all crowded around my and Claire's beds. I notice Claire's out of bed and stretching, but glaring at the campers too. We all stayed up a little too late last night, but somehow, everyone but Claire and I can still get up at a normal time. And be cheery about it.

"LAST WEEK OF CAMP!" Someone in the bunk room shouts, causing a crushing feeling to hit me in the chest. Is it really the last week already?

The week flies by in a blur of fun end-of-camp activities, tanning and sneaking out to the beach after lights out with Claire, Dylan and Olivia.

It's the night before the last official day of camp -and the Social. It's a little after midnight and the moon is almost full, casting a huge reflection on the smooth black lake. I look at my girls, all quiet and thinking softly to themselves. I trap them and the almost-perfect moon in a rectangle made by my fingers and pretend to take a picture, then store it with all those other mental pictures.

"I have so much packing to do when I get home," Dylan sighs. "Mass are you really taking the year off? What did your parents say?"

"They don't know yet. But I'm doing it. I just want a year, for me."

"Are you going with Cam?" Olivia asks softly.

"Yeah but..just as friends, I think. We haven't really talked," I tell them. He hasn't talked about _us _at all actually. But for once, I'm not obsessing about a boy's actions, trying to figure out if he likes me or not. I'm fine with where Cam and I are -_for now. _"But I'm good with being friends for a while."

"Good," Olivia yawns, causing us all to catch on. I feel weary and tired, but not quite sleepy. "Um, Massie, who are you going to Social with...? We all have dates."

It was true -since Landon had made his little announcement last year at the Social, he and Dylan were free to go together. Claire and Josh were a given. And Olivia and Todd -_as friends_.

No one had asked me. I hadn't asked anyone. It was the first year I wouldn't be going with Derrick. I wonder who he's going with? Will seeing them bother me at all..? No, probably not. As long as he's happy, I'm happy for him.

Wait, omg, does Cam have a date? He hadn't asked me, but I figured we'd both be going stag. What if he had a date? Seeing _that _would bother me!

Claire, seeing from the look in my eyes that my thoughts are going into overdrive, hauls me to my feet. "C'mon guys, we'd better get some beauty sleep if we wanna look good tomorrow!"

* * *

The next morning, my campers chatter excitedly about the Social before breakfast while I start packing my bags in the counselor's room. I open the little box I bring to camp every year -full of little memories.

A picture of me, Skye, Olivia, Dylan and Claire outside our cabin, taken just a few weeks into my first summer. A picture of me and Claire, taken so close up that it's just our two faces squished into the picture -that was taken a couple weeks ago. My purple and gold lanyard. A pressed daisy from the bouquet Derrick had picked for me last year to reconcile and go to Social together. Another daisy from my first summer -Derrick had put it behind my ear on the last day of camp. Some medals concerning the Camp Olympics. The picture we'd submitted to the slide show last year of Nikki.

I close the box and put it in one of my suitcases. It all makes me sad, but at the same time it makes me happy. I've spent three great summers here, and made so many memories.

I think of Olivia with her dramatics, Dylan with her I-mean-business attitude and Claire with her ability to make me feel better no matter what. Landon with his Greek god-esque looks, and Derrick's goofy sense of humor. Or Josh's cocky attitude. Cam's easy grin and blue-green eyes.

I love them all. And the way they all fit together. How Josh's frat-boy attitude disappears the second he can lay eyes on Claire. Or how Claire and Todd can bicker on and on all day about nothing in particular. The way just meeting Landon's eye can make that ice-queen Dylan flush. Or Olivia's rapid-fire way of speaking, with only Claire, Dylan and I being able to understand it half the time. How Claire and I can share a look and immediately start cracking up, making everyone around us wonder what the hell we're laughing at. Or how Cam's smile can send a million bolts of lightning through my body. Or the way Dylan, Claire, Olivia and I can just look at each other and know exactly what we're all thinking.

And camp itself -the oak tree where we'd illegally carved our names last year. The bonfire pit, which was where I'd first met Derrick. Our cabin -Bunk 15-, where we'd spent countless hours laughing or crying or being mad at each other or reuniting with each other. And of course the lake -where Cam and I taught canoeing, and where he'd asked me to the Social last year. It was where Derrick and I first hung out, and where us girls would cool down after a long day of tanning. Illegal trips to the dock to look at the stars or moping around after any crisis.

Hell, even my uncomfortable, squeaky bed holds a special spot in my heart.

"Thinkin' hard or hardly thinking?" Claire breezes into the room, her familiar scent of coconut tanning oil and fruity DKNY perfume following her.

"Hardly packing is more like it," I sigh. "I keep getting distracted."

"Hate to distract you more, but you need to help me choose a dress! Which one do you think Josh will like best? Oh and Dyl and Olivia and their campers are coming over later to get ready for it. And you should see all the shoes I brought, I guess I got kinda carried away. Feel free to borrow anything..."

I tune Claire out and sigh again. For the first time since I've been here, I'm going to the Social dateless. And even though my friends and I are back together, I've never felt more alone.

"I'm so ecxcited for tonight!" Ripple gushes for what feels like the millionth time.

"I bet," Claire grins at her, playing the role of good counselor, unlike me. But Claire has a date, of course she's happy.

We're walking from the DH after lunch and no one will shut up. I feel bad -I'm sure I seem like _such _a buzzkill. I can't help but feel left out though -even Ripple has a date! And what if Cam actually does have a date?

Speak of the devil, Cam approaches our group. "Ladies," he grins, causing a few of my campers -okay, well, _and _me- to blush. "So, Block, we going together tonight or what?"

My campers and Claire giggle and elbow each other. I grin. "Who else would I go with, Fisher?"

"No one," Cam scoffs. "I'm the only person stupid enough to hang out with you," he rolls his multicoloured eyes. "I'll see ya tonight then."

"You will," I laugh as he nods goodbye to our group then walks back towards his cabin.

"Cam and Massie, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Ripple squeals. "I knew you guys would go together!"

We walk back to our cabin, the campers chattering on and on again, and my grin doesn't leave my face once.

* * *

"Flats or heels?"

"Can you French braid my hair?"

"That dress looks so cute on you!"

Our cabin is full of excited girls trying on different dresses and shoes and excitedly chatting about everything. I swear, the cabin's literally buzzing.

"Cute shoes," Claire tells me, dusting bronzer along her prominent collarbone.

"Thanks," I say, clicking my heels together like Dorothy -only instead of ruby slippers, I have white satin flats. They're only going to get wrecked walking through the grass from our cabin to the Dining Hall, but they were too cute to pass up.

"Does this dress make me look skinny?" Olivia asks, sucking in her already flat stomach.

"No, the fact that you're skinny makes you look skinny," Dylan rolls her kohl-lined eyes. "But does this dress make me look fat?"

"No, the fact that you're fat makes you look fat," Olivia cackles, causing Dylan to throw one of my pillows at her.

"You look amazing," I tell Dylan, taking in her black lace dress. The dark colour looks striking against her incredibly pale skin.

"I know," Dylan smiles smugly. "You do too though. You all do."

We all take turns twirling, showing off our outfits. I have to agree -we all look great. Butterflies float around in my stomach at the thought of showing off my dress to Cam.

"Can we go nooooww?" Olivia whines, wiggling like she has to pee. "I wanna daaaaance!"

"Too bad no one wants to dance _with_ you," Claire teases, sticking out her tongue. I know she feels weird about Todd and Liv going though -I mean, who _wouldn't_? Your best friend and your older brother -ew!

We trail behind our campers while we make our way to the Dining Hall. As I watch my campers skip through the grass, laughing and grinning, I can't help but feel nostalgic. I'd kill to be fifteen again, to be back at my first summer of camp. I don't want to go out into the world outside of high school, to go to university, get a real job, raise a family. I don't want to venture out into the real world -the world where I'm not at Camp Wood Lake.

"Chin up, buttercup," Claire squeezes my hand and shoots me her infectious grin. Its one of those moments where I'm so glad we're as close as we are, that she can understand me without me trying to put my jumbled thoughts into words.

I squeeze her hand back, and take in the totally transformed DH. Every year, I'm even more impressed with how they decorate. White lights are strung from the beams on the ceiling, tea lights are scattered across the room, and everyone looks so beautiful.

Landon's playing around with a few knobs and dials on the sound system, but stops when he sees us walk in. He smiles almost shyly at Dylan, and even though her back is to me, I know she's blushing as crimson as her hair. Only Landon can get a reaction like that out of Dylan Marvil. She waves at us and heads out in his direction.

Our campers have fanned out, daring each other to talk to the cute boys, or bravely dancing by themselves. Todd joins Olivia, Claire and I, looking handsome as usual. Although Claire and Todd look almost nothing alike, they both have that unnerving way of looking at you, and it's like they're looking at your soul.

"Ladies," Todd nods his head at me and Olivia. "Oh, sorry Claire, didn't realize you were here too," he wrinkles his freckled nose.

Claire tries to punch him in the arm, but he easily dodges her. I wish I had a sibling -I'm an only child and my parents barely raised me. Then it hits me -I have four sisters.

Todd escorts Olivia to the dance floor, where they take turns showing off the goofiest, most embarrassing dance moves.

"Then there was two," Claire says, blue eyes scoping the room for Josh, no doubt.

"Always, no matter what happens," I reply, sticking my pinky finger in the air. Claire wraps hers tightly around mine, and drags me onto the dance floor. The first few chords of Springsteen start playing, and Claire belts out the lyrics while we dance. People stare. It's something that only Claire Lyons can do without looking like a total fool.

"Mind if I cut in?" Josh appears beside us, almost taking my breath away. God he's perfect. But then again, so is my best friend. And they're perfect together. "As soon as I walked in, I heard a walrus singing some Eric Church, and I knew my girlfriend was here somewhere."

Claire laughs, throwing her tanned arms around him. I slowly make my way off the dancefloor, not wanting to look like a loser on my own.

"There you are!" I spot Cam, standing awkwardly near the food table. "Hey!"

He's quiet for a few minutes, and I think it's because he can't hear me over the loud music, so I shout "HEY!" again.

"I heard you the first time, Massie," he laughs, then smiles softly at me. "It's just...you just..youlookreallybeautiful," he mumbles the last bit, but I hear it and it a billion little love signals to my brain.

"You look beautiful too," I tell him, resisting the urge to jump into his arms the way Claire had with Josh. I don't know if we're quite at that stage yet.

"Honey, I _always _look hawt," he snaps his fingers at me, and we dissolve into laughter. He grins and shyly looks at me, and I feel like I'm thirteen and a ball of nerves. "So..would you like to dance?"

I take his hand and we make our way onto the dancefloor, but before we can start dancing, Ripple and Lilah run up to us, cheeks flushed and grinning. Two boys trail awkwardly behind them, trying to look coolly disinterested.

"Massie," Lilah whispers excitedly. "That's Chris Abeley," she not-so-subtly flicks her head in the direction of the taller of the two boys, who's shuffling his feet and staring at the floor. "He asked me to dance with him!"

"Well what are you doing wasting time talking to me," I gently shove her towards him and grin. "Go dance!"

I smile watching Lilah awkwardly wrap her arms around his neck, and shuffle-sway to the song. "Isn't that so cute?" I ask, turning back to Cam. "I remember my first dance with a boy."

"Massie," Cam chuckles. "What are you doing wasting time talking to me?" he repeats my words back to me. "Let's dance!"


	14. Chapter 14

last chapter.

ps, i miss having friends on this site...if anyone wanted to pm me, i'd be down...

* * *

I dance with Cam. I dance with Claire and Josh. I dance with Dylan and Claire and Olivia. I awkwardly dance along with Lilah and Chris. I dance with Claire and our campers. I dance with Landon and Todd. I dance with Josh, and I even find myself dancing with Derrick at one point. My hair is matted with sweat and my cheeks are aching from grinning. I feel drunk, buzzing with happiness, giddiness and love. Love for everyone here and everything here.

I'm just in love with everything.

* * *

Hours later, Landon's thanking everyone for a wonderful night and an even more wonderful summer.

"I hope to see you all next summer," he shoots us all a huge grin, and everyone hoots and hollers. Everyone's hugging and talking and some people are still dancing, so I know there's no use in attempting to round up my campers. Hopefully they make it back to the cabin without getting attacked by a rabid deer or something.

"Hey," Dylan's cheeks are flushed and her eyes are bright. "Where's Claire and Liv?"

I shrug, scanning the crowd again. I spot their blonde heads slowly making their way towards us. "Let's go to the docks."

"I think we've gone there after every social," Dylan says. "Even though it's breaking the rules."

"Well you know us," Claire says, throwing her arms over Dylan and my shoulders. Olivia joins us on the left of Dylan. "We're just such rebels."

We make our way to the beach, arms still tightly around each others waists or shoulders. The sand is cool on my bare feet and little waves crash gently against the side. "God I love it here," I tell them, tilting my face up so I can stare at the stars. "The stars aren't like this at home. They look so close."

We sit, not caring that sand will get up our dresses. Dylan stares up at the stars too. "The light of those stars began traveling towards us back when there were dinosaurs? They're actually really far away."

"No they're not," Olivia says dreamily, lying back in the sand and closing her eyes. "They're right here."

* * *

We sit like that for a few hours, not really talking, but chatting every now and then. Just being close to each other. It's the only time when I feel whole, when I feel like Massie Block.

"There you all are," Todd says, sinking down into the sand beside me. "Hey Massie."

"Hey," I murmur, silently wondering if all of the guys will come sit with us, Cam included.

"Cam's coming," Todd says, doing that freaky Lyons family thing, where they know what you're really thinking. He laughs when I glare suspiciously at him. "Excuse me," he mumbles, and gets up to sit closer to Olivia.

"Hey," Cam plops down in the spot Todd just exited. Josh and Derrick join. I smile at them, and Derrick hesitantly smiles back.

"It's past curfew, you know," Cam raises an eyebrow. "I could report you to Landon and you'd get in some pretty big trouble."

"Oh shut up," I laugh, shoving him in the shoulder.

"So...you sure you wanna take a year off with me?"

"Yeah," I say firmly. I could never picture myself at university right away anyway. I mean, I just went through thirteen years of schooling, plus 10 months of finishing school. I need a break. Although, I'm pretty sure that breaks finishing school rule number six.

Cam smiles softly. "I'm excited."

"I'm more excited."

"I'm most excited," he smirks triumphantly at me.

"Oh my god," Claire groans from beside me. "Do not be _that _couple."

"What couple?" Cam chuckles, amused.

"The one that's like 'you hang up first' 'no you hang up first'. Or 'I love you most' 'no I love YOU most!'."

"Please," Josh snorts. "You and Massie definitely ended a phone conversation with the you hang up first thing. I was there, I unfortunately heard it with my own ears."

"And then you did hang up first," Claire punches me in the arm. "And it's fine for _us _to be like that, but you can _not _do that with your boyfriend."

I blush, since Cam and I aren't really officially boyfriend and girlfriend. But before I can awkwardly correct her, Josh is saying "But, babe, I just love you most." Which makes Claire go "But I love _you _most", and then they're cracking up, just the two of them. And for a second, I actually feel envious, before I remember the blue and green eyed boy sitting to my left.

"So, guess you don't want your boyfriend to love you more?" he asks, casually. "You know, if that's what we are?" a faint blush creeps into his cheeks.

"Well I'd like to be," I say awkwardly, feeling again like I'm thirteen. Well actually, when I was thirteen, my first boyfriend asked me out over MSN. And all he said was "so do u wanna be bf/gf now?" to which I said "its up 2 u". His friends made fun of me for weeks about the "it's up to you" comment. Embarrassingly true story.

"Good," Cam gently entertwines our fingers. "'cause I'd like to be too."

* * *

The next morning I wake up to the sound of sniffles, sobs and promises.

"I promise -we'll Skype every night!"

"Well maybe we'll be lucky and be in the same cabin next summer!"

"Even if we're not in the same cabin, we'll still be best friends!"

"I don't know how I'll go ten months without you!"

I walk out of our tiny shoebox of a counselor's room, wearing plaid flannel shorts and Cam's hoodie. Watching my little girls pack makes me sad. I know what they're feeling -the fear of being replaced as a best friend, the frustration of not living in the same city like normal friends, the sadness that summer's over, and the dull, lonely ache throughout your entire body since you know you won't see your best friends for a year.

"Hey," Lilah notices me standing in the doorway. Her bright blue eyes are red.

"Hi," I say softly. "I know how you guys are all feeling right now," I sit on the corner of Jasmine's bed. "I know it sucks not getting to see each other everyday, after spending two and a half months spending every minute together. But you're all coming back next year, and you'll all still be best friends. There's so many ways to stay in touch in a matter of seconds now, even if you live across the country. But trust me, once school starts, you'll all be busy and before you know it, it'll be June and you'll be on the bus back here."

"You're so smart, Massie," Lilah cries and rushes across the room to hug me. The other girls join too, and soon we're all clinging to each other and crying. "We're going to miss you and Claire too!"

"You can add us on Facebook or something," I tell them. "You know I'm always willing to listen."

"Always?" Ripple asks, her lower lip quivering.

"Yes, always. I promise."

* * *

At breakfast, I pile my plate high with pancakes and drown them in syrup. Nothing like sugar and carbs to prep you for a long day. There's a slightly serious tone in the Dining Hall, as there is every year on the last morning. Claire's quiet, going through all of the pictures of the summer on her camera with Lilah, smiling every so often. Dylan and Olivia look like they're giving their campers the same speech I gave to my girls earlier. Josh and Derrick are sitting at the same table, even though they belonged to different cabins, and are taking turns flicking Cheerios into glasses of orange juice. Derrick laughs and pumps his fist in the air as he lands on in Josh's cup, and I sigh happily. It makes me really happy to see Derrick acting like his usual immature but fun-loving self.

And then there's Cam. He meets my gaze from across the DH, and waves shyly. I wave shyly back before putting my empty plate away. After breakfast, when we're all supposed to be packing up, Claire starts a "latin dance party", so we all waste twenty minutes dancing around the cabin to her Zumba playlist, and once again I find myself so grateful that she can turn a sad situation into something fun.

But then before I know it, Ripple's mom is here, and there's a lot of tearful hugs. One by one, our campers leave. Claire and I sit on the floor of the cabin, looking around.

"How lucky were we that we got to be together _and _we got cabin fifteen?" Claire sighs.

I sigh too. The cabin always looks so bare and lonely when everything is packed up. Gone are Ripple's One Direction posters, and Jasmine's lime green and hot pink bedspread. Soon, even mine and Claire's matching purple bedspreads will be gone, and only the scent of Claire's perfume and tanning oil will be left. Well that and our names, written in Sharpie in the corner of a wall. I smile at Dylan's blocky letters, Olivia's chickenscrap and Claire's loopy, elegant writing.

"You know, I thought about not coming back next summer," Claire admits to my surprise. "And even now, ya know, I don't know that I will. Who knows where I'll be in a year..." she trails off, tracing the lines in the wood floor with her fingers. "This place is home. I owe a huge part of who I am today to Camp Wood Lake...but..I'm growing up. Maybe this year was my last year. Maybe it wasn't. Who knows."

"Claire," I say, understanding what she means, even though I don't like the sound of it. I don't like change, growing up, growing apart. "I want you to know you will _always _be my best friend. _Always. _No matter what we're doing, where we are. God, I don't know how I would've stayed sane without you here. But even without you here, you're going to be my best friend."

A few tears slip out of Claire's beautiful blue eyes, but she laughs and wipes them away. "Massie, you'd think you'd know by now -we're not friends. We're soulmates."

* * *

We're all gathered around _our _oak tree, the one by the lake, where we carved everyone's names in to. I rest my head against Cam's shoulder and close my eyes, enjoying having everyone together for the last time this year. Maybe the last time ever.

We can't be eighteen and camp counselors forever.

Claire told everyone else about not coming back. Olivia promptly burst into tears, which made Claire start crying too. "I mean, its not a for sure," Claire tells her. "But...just a maybe." Josh wraps a protective arm around her.

But, oddly enough, I don't think any of us are really _sad _right now, the way we all usually are when we're leaving camp. When we're leaving each other. I love each and everyone of these people so _so _much, and although the thought of leaving them all does leave me feeling lonely, I know that our bond is so close that ten months apart won't phase us. Maybe I'm growing up. And like, am realizing that these people are friends for life, but also realizing that I _can _be alone.

It won't kill me.

"So I was thinking this year, we can all make sure our spring breaks are at the same time, and then go down to Cuba or something."

"I'm down," Olivia agrees. "I'll miss the last few weeks of ski season, but that's okay." Everyone else agrees too, and I smile. Happy -no, no, _content_. Yeah, content. That's how I'm feeling: perfectly content with everything and everyone in my life.

I gaze out at the huge lake, reflecting the mountains and endless blue sky. The sprawling Big House and Dining Hall, the adorable but small wooden cabins that at one time, I'd been horrified to know know I had to sleep in. I chuckle to myself, thinking of how just a few weeks here had changed me completely. Then again, maybe it wasn't being here that changed me, maybe it was the _people _here that did.

I smile at my beautiful group of friends, each so unique and original, yet we all fit together so perfectly.

"There you go again," Cam smiles at me. "Lost in your own head."

Instead of replying, I tilt my head up and kiss him.

They say that every summer has a story. And, well, that was mine.


	15. Chapter 15

okay i feel like i have a lot of thank yous to do but i don't wanna waste space with a huge note up here. but THANK YOU to everyone who faved/alerted/reviewed or even just viewed this thing! especially those of you who read sleep away when i first started writing it and were still reading it when i updated six months later! it's taken me 3 years to complete this series so thank you so much to everyone who put up with my laziness when i didn't update! i love alllll of you and appreciate every kind word you said so much!  
THANK YOU! xo

* * *

It's been ten years since my first summer at Camp Wood Lake. Ten years since I first met my girls. Ten years since I've been -as Olivia Ryan would put it- "spiritually awakened".

Twenty-five's been a big year for me so far. A big year for all of us, I guess. In January, Dylan Marvil became Dylan Crane, with a gorgeous princess cut, white gold ring to prove it. Their wedding was absolutely beautiful, in super snowy Maine, and had been covered by _The Daily Grind._ And they lived in DC, Dylan's hometown, just so Merri-Lee could document from April to December.

Yeah, nine months. Come December nineteenth, an adorable red haired, Carribean sea blue eyed baby would be born. And of course, Aunt Massie will be there every second of every day to spoil the kid.

Olivia and Todd are currently living together in San Diego and before you get your hopes up -they're _"just friends!" _Todd's been dating a girl he met surfing for a little over a year, and Olivia's too focused on her career to have a realy boyfriend right now. They've been living together since March and things seem to be going pretty great! San Diego's a great place for the two of them -Todd's still in California and Olivia can go to the zoo whenever she wants.

Derrick wound up at NYU, in his city. He's dating a girl in some business class and I've met her a couple times. She's nice, but a bit of a party girl. She's fun -which means she's perfect for Derrick, which makes me happy. They've only been dating three months, but I can tell Derrick's serious about the girl. Derrick and I stayed true to our word -we were friends. It was nice knowing someone else in Manhattan -plus he was born and raised in the city, so it was helpful that he was just a phone call away whenever I got lost!

Skye's been cancer free for two whole years now. Just another five and she'll be considered cured. Instead of going to college right away, she decided to take some time off and design jewellery for the little store she'd interned at. It wasn't quite so little though, now that she'd taken over.

"There you are," Cam's warm voice breaks my thoughts. "Claire's looking for you."

We're all back at camp half a month before camp season officially starts. Of course, Claire and I will still be counsellors in seventeen days, when camp starts. She ended up coming back the summer after our first year of university -which in my heart, I knew she would. But this summer will be the first summer that it will just be Claire and I -Olivia got an internship with Vogue and the ever-cautious Dylan didn't want any chances of harming the baby.

"Coming," I say softly. "She still freaking out?"

"Of course she is -she's Claire," Cam chuckles. "Quite the Bridezilla."

Oh yeah. The reason we were all here was for Claire and Josh's wedding. As a teenager, I never would've expected Claire to have such a simple beach wedding. "Shut up, that's one of my best friends you're talking about," I hit him lightly on the shoulder of his tux. "I'll see you down there," I tell him. "I'm not even dressed yet."

"Better hurry, or Claire will have your head," Cam laughs as I shut the door of one of the Big House's big rooms.

"Was that Cam I heard?!" Olivia jumps up from the couch she had been sitting on. "What's he doing looking at you?! It's bad luck!"

"Only for the bride and groom to see each other," Dylan corrects, pinning up her red curls. "And that's not for a while," she grins down at my ring finger on my left hand.

Did I mention Cam purposed? After a stressful day of classes last month, I came home to our little apartment only to find a buffet of Chinese food and _The Notebook _waiting for me in the living room. And when I'd cracked open my fortune cookie -bam, there was a ring. We decided to just enjoy our time being engaged, there was no sense rushing into a wedding. I didn't even mind waiting a couple years -Dylan and Claire's weddings were enough for one year.

I smile down at it too before changing out of my clothes and into the pale blue strapless dress that us bridemaids wore. For a split second, I'm reminded of my old summers spent here, when we'd all be helping each other get ready for the Social. A faint smile appears on my lips, thinking about how much things had changed, but how they'd stayed the same too.

"There she is," Skye squeals as Claire exits the bathroom. "The bride herself!" Claire's skin is tanned and flawless, her large navy eyes lined in charcoal grey and shining, and her gold curls piled up on top of her head. Her dress is simple and white, sitting slightly off shoulder and cinched slightly at the waist before hanging straight. She really does look gorgeous.

"You look amazing," Dylan hugs her, careful not to mess up anything. "Josh won't be able to take his eyes off of you."

"Thanks," Claire says breathlessly as if she's still in shock. "I'll meet you guys down there, but I really need a minute with Massie."

As Skye, Olivia and Dylan trickle out, Claire rushes into my arms. "You really do look fantastic, C," I squeeze her tightly, really not caring if either of our hairdo's come undone.

"Do I look fat? And is that a zit on my chin? Do you think my dress is too simple? I mean, Dylan had ten layers of tulle, I don't even have one and-"

"That was _Dylan's _wedding," I tell her, holding her at arms length to admire her. "Not yours. You look perfect. This day is going to be perfect."

She grabs my left hand with hers, and our rings clink. "Can you believe this?"

I grin and shake my head. "OH!" I grab my bag and hold out the blue heart-shaped lanyard charm we'd made when we were seventeen. "In case you need something blue," I bite my lip at the cheesiness. "Or old."

"Aweh, Massie," her eyes well with tears.

"Don't cry," I command, turning her so she faces the mirror. "Where do you want it?"

Claire takes the oddly-shaped heart from me and unclips the gold chain that hangs around her graceful neck. Then she slids the heart on it so it hangs beside the little C charm she's had since she was eighteen.

"There," she sniffs.

"Guys?" Dylan knocks on the door. "It's time!"

Dylan and Landon walk down the aisle, followed by Todd and Olivia, then Derrick and Skye and finally me and Cam.

"You look beautiful," he whispers as we walk on the mat that sits on top of the sand.

"Shh," I whisper back through my smile. "You're not allowed to tell anyone but the bride that today!"

Cam chuckles as we seperate. I watch as Claire walks down the beach with her dad before standing beside Josh. After some vows are exchanged, Claire's ring is on her finger and they're kissing.

As everyone breaks apart for the reception and I join Cam and Mr. Lyons, I can't help thinking about how perfect this camp is. I was lucky enough to fall in love three times here. With Derrick, with Cam and with Dylan, Olivia, Claire and Skye.

The last one really means the most to me. I was lucky to have Derrick and I'm lucky to have Cam, but I'd be totally lost with out those four girls. I guess you don't really get to pick your friends -they're just plopped in front of you. And sometimes, you're lucky enough to get the perfect ones.

"Massie!" Claire cries from where she's standing with Olivia, Dylan and Skye on the dock. "Come on!"

"You'd better go," Cam shoves me slightly towards the shore. I kick off my heels and join the four of them on the dock. It rocks a little as I walk to the end of it with them.

"To Claire!" Skye decides, grinning at our bride.

"No," Claire shakes her head. "I've had enough toasts for one night. I don't wanna jinx anything."

"Then to us," I tell them. "And to being best friends forever."

"Sounds good," Dylan lifts the hem of her blue dress to show her thin ankle. On it is her braided navy and gold lanyard from ten years ago.

We'd decided to retire them a few years ago, so they'd stay preserved and around forever, but we took them out of retirement for one night.

"On the count of three," Dylan flicks her bangs out of her eyes.

"THREE!" Olivia shrieks, and the five of us jump in the lake, dresses ballooning up around us. When we surface, I start laughing at the sight of my four beautiful best friends, their hair coming undone and their makeup smudged across their cheeks.

"What are you laughing at," Skye laughs too. "You look just as ridiculous as the rest of us!"

"It's my wedding day," Claire laughs, "you can't tell me I look ridiculous!"

And we stay like that, treading water in our gowns, laughing, until the guys cannonball in with their tuxes still on. Claire's mom and dad take pictures from the dock, and talk about how nice it is to see that we're all such good friends.

In life, there are certain bonds you just can't break. I mean, look at Cam and that time in Croatia where he tried to act tough macho and break a chain off of the boat we'd rented. He couldn't do it. Just like no one can break this bond, which is fine by me. We've all been through so much, yet, somehow, we're all still together.

Sometimes it's just too complicated for us to understand -all these interconnected things have to be just _right_ before you can love. That's why it's so, so amazing when it happens, when you can love someone. Maybe it shouldn't be so surprising when it doesn't last. Not everything does. But our bond amazes me everyday.

So maybe we should just be astounded that it happens at all.


End file.
